Diary of a Diva Mom | Keeping the Diva Within

Struggling ..

2012-01-04T12:12:00.001-06:00

I have written and re-written this post at least a dozen times. Each time going over every line and every word to only hit delete. I have had these same thoughts in my head for a while now, trying to calm the noise that just eats me up inside. Most of you that follow my blog know that I semi-stalk my all time favorite blogger Jenny Lawson of "The Blogess". A few days ago, she wrote this amazingly open and so very honest post about her battle with depression and self harm you can read all about it here. Then yesterday she posted some pretty inspiring messages that she got back from her post and how much it helped people struggling just like her, from a mother who's twins committed suicide from depression and another from a reader that was thinking of suicide but is choosing to get help instead. I have read those posts and comments hundreds of times.

Her posts brought me back to a place that I hate to go to, like most of you that read my blog are aware that my mother passed away last year. You can read about that here and here. Since that day I have not been the same, everything about her death changed me, it changed how I look at the world, how I interact with people down to my happiness, her death and the guilt from her death has literally sucked the life out of me. My mother's depression for many years consumed her life to the point that she drank enough to fill a bar room to cope. Her emotions and her demons took over, and she never asked for help and help was forced on her so much that she rejected it, until it finally took her life. My mother's last years changed her, her drinking literally became a every day all day thing until it killed her. It is no secret that I stayed away from her. Instead of just being there I chose to let my own anger about it push me away. I did not want to deal with the drama and the fighting, I did not want to have my kids around it, and to be honest she scared the crap out of me. So I ran away from her.

The last few years I only talked to my mother on the phone, saw her time to time, and I have beaten myself up every single day since about that. I hated her for what she became and I hate her now for dying. I've never said that out loud before. I never could understand why she just couldn't snap out of it, that is until I read Jenny's blog. People really don't talk about what depression is or how it can swallow you whole. I am one of those people. I never once put myself in my mother's shoes. I never once just tried to talk to her without getting angry, I was just always angry. My parents divorced when I was two years old. Both remarried shortly after. My mother, she drank socially and some nights until that became a every day habit. My mother didn't think she had a problem. For many years I have stayed angry with both my parents for a long list of reasons, it wasn't until I actually became a mother that I realized how imperfect parents can be and that is really okay.

But still I feel cheated and still I feel anger and I am not quite sure exactly yet how to deal with it. When my mom died everything about me that I loved died with her. I know that sounds strange and it is hard to put into words to help people understand. I feel so disconnected with almost everything now. Things I loved before I really could careless about, I am not as happy as I use to be and I really stopped trusting people in general. Some might say I am depressed and I would agree on some level, but the truth is I can not stop being so damn mad to let myself be happy right now. The day my mother's coffin closed it was like a loud metal door shut inside me. Following her death my family separated, words were exchanged that never should be said, things were done by people I thought I trusted that should never be done. I closed the door to what I thought was "family" and I haven't looked back since.

I wish I could describe the feeling you have when a parent dies. You feel like half of you is gone, like your never quite whole again. It is a sad feeling I wouldn't wish on anyone. I fully realize that I am the only one that can control how I feel but the truth is I want to be angry right now. I feel like if I don't go through this part of the process I will never be happy again. I am okay with crying and I am really okay with shutting out most of the world. I am very lucky to have people that are willing to love me through this. I have a close group of people that love me on the good and bad days. They see past so much of me, they can see the light for me through this very dark tunnel and are willing to be there no matter what and I am so thankful for that. I am thankful that I have kids that love me despite me not being a perfect parent and hopefully see past them when they are older. I know that one day I will have to deal with how I feel and I feel like this is the first step for me in a very long road. I am so glad I am able to finally just lay it all out there for the world to see on a small level, people are silently hurting and sometimes in the case of my mother doing things to show they are hurting inside. Be there for those people. Don't run away because of anger or fear. Just because someone is going through "stuff" doesn't make them unworthy of love and support, I know I made that mistake and I can never correct it. Today I am showing my support for people like Jenny and my late mother and all those suffering with "stuff."

I am posting this silver ribbon in support .. I also purchased this button from Jenny's zazzle store. All proceeds from the sale will go to The Traveling Red Dress Project (A project designed to celebrate women in their strongest and weakest moments) .. you can purchase one too by clicking here.

Stay Strong .. You are worth it.

Well it's 2012 ..

2012-01-02T09:29:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year to all my DIVA readers!! I hope that your New Year holiday was a great one!! I wish that I could say I partied like it was 1999 but alas being a mommy of two now I basically rang in the New Year on the couch while watching Dick Clark's Rocking Eve .. ( I should point out that I thought he was dead until I saw him on TV) and chatted with my very best friends (doing the same things as me) till midnight, kissed the kids, cursed the neighbors kids for continuing to shoot off fireworks till 12:30 am and fell asleep. Iamarockstar. Oh yes, this was the most fun I have had since birth ladies and gentlemen, be jealous.

2011 like 2010 really wasn't a great year for me. I have had to deal with allot of change over the last year and also deal with too many family deaths again. So basically 2011 you can kiss my ass. 2012 you will be my bitch this year! Not all of 2011 was bad I guess, I became really close to 5 women that are now like my sisters, I gained some much needed independence, started a new business, all in all I would give 2011 3 out of 10 stars.

With a new year comes new resolutions that you will never stick to. I went back one year to look at my 2011 resolutions and you can find that post here.

Let's see what I actually stuck to .. This is probably going to be quick since I have the willpower of a crack head.

My 2011 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Be at my goal weight by mini diva's 3rd birthday(JUNE).
*Well this I am kinda proud of, while I didn't make the entire goal, I dropped over 80 pounds and I really do plan on losing the rest by her 4th birthday. So points and snaps for me!

2. Read a new book a month.
*Well I bought several books to read. Does that count?

3. Get back to blogging.
*I would say I kinda did this!

4. Pick up a new hobby and stick with it.
*Did I mention I have a short attention span, like a 5 year old with severe ADHD.

5. Learn to cook.
*Still popping those TV dinners in the oven!

6. be a "martha mom"
*Why the f**k did I even write this, I made myself laugh!

7. Back to church EVERY Sunday.
*Thank god Jesus still loves me!

8. Seek peace with my moms passing. Get her final wishes sought out.
*This is going to be a bigger task than I realized.

9. Dinners AT the table.
*NEXT!

10. No TV/Cell phones and just family days.
*This is going on the 2012 list.

11. Get mini diva potty trained!
*DING DING DING we have a winner!

So basically I completed or half way completed 3 out of the 11! Not bad! Okay so that is bad but hey I am a work in progress! I am still working on my 2012 list of crap I might not do so stayed tuned for that one, I am sure you will get a kick out of it.

Did you complete your New Year's Resolutions? I need inspiration people!

Meanwhile on Pinterest ..

2011-12-12T13:43:00.000-06:00

So basically I am a crack whore for Pinterest lately .. and the more I pin the more I am learning that this world is basically as funny if not, funnier than I am. I also have learned allot from Pinterest as well .. Here are this weeks lessons from my cracked addicted website. Your Welcome.

You know you agree with almost everything written here.

***

Not kidding, I know I should do a warm and fuzzy Christmas card with cute pictures of my kids, but this is so much better, and well the young version of me. Look for it in your mailbox soon friends. Merry Christmas!

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Most annoying trend on the Internet. Please stop with the mustache thing already. Seriously. Stop it.

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Ahh .. Now I know how "almost drunk" I can get this year! Who ever made this, thank you, last year's party was a nightmare and I am pretty sure that's why Bob in accounting won't look me in the eye anymore. Seriously, it was one kiss, you think he would be over it by now.

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Follow me on Pinterest!

http://pinterest.com/lsugurl/

Since it's the holidays ...

2011-12-08T10:41:00.000-06:00

I have this small addiction to Target, and by small addiction I mean that I have this crazy need to go there, every. single. day. I have this idea that it is the Disneyland of stores, because it is magic. Great now that you think I am slightly insane I will get to the point of this blog .. shall we?

Yesterday while on my daily trip I was walking around trying to get in the mood to shop for crap I really don't need, when I saw these two women approaching each other .. They did the typical "HEYYYYYYY!! So great to see you!" (Can you hear the high pitched voice, good) One woman proceeds to look the other up and down and in the most sarcastic and so snarky tone (god I love this woman already) says "Oh my you look amazing, have you lost weight?" and hugs this woman and wait for it ROLLS HER EYES. (Told you I loved her). The other woman not knowing what a fake b*tch this woman really is begins telling her how she had no idea she lost weight and blah blah blah .. I stood there like a crazed stalker, I am sure mouth wide opened at what I just witnessed for myself, I mean we all experience it or do it ourselves as women, I like to call it, being a fake b*tch. We all have those people in our lives that we love to hate for whatever reason. I have a few people that I know that if I saw them in a store, on the street or walking to the pearly gates in heaven I will rather cut my own kidneys out than talk to them but when they somehow find me dodging them I can't help but give a back handed compliment and pretend I care about what is going on in their life, I can't help it, more often than not I too, am that fake b*tch. But to watch it happen to someone else was just amazing. I didn't know if I wanted to high five the snarky one or hug the other, hell for all I know they are long time rivals waiting for the day to stab each other with spoons, but either way I was fascinated.

Sometimes as women we are beautiful creatures .. loving and cuddly and all that other crap, and sometimes we are just mean, snarky, snobby, fake b*tches and I love us for that. Sometimes you just gatta let your b*tch flag fly baby. We are ALL guilty. Even you Mother Superior, even you.

Enjoy ..

Your welcome.

Follow Friday - Guest Poster - Jill Hickey

2011-09-30T14:01:00.001-05:00

Well it is FOLLOW FRIDAY here at Diva Mom and you know what that means?? GUEST BLOGGER!!!

I am such a HUGE fan of today's poster, Jill Hickey aka Notsosoccermom, her site not only entertains but also she helps me realize that I am not the only mother out there trying to conquer the world while being the best dang mom on earth! Make sure you check her out at any of the social media sites she has or better yet visit her website and find out why I just lover her so much, click here.

Now what we have been waiting for .. take it away Jill!
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“Bullying in the ‘Burbs”

‘Amazing’ is over-used. ‘Social media’ really means what? “It is what it is” is a silly phrase. “At the end of a day” needs to remain a song from Les Miz, not a filler in conversation.

We, (I do it too!) verbally vomit all over each other.

Last year at this time, two moms came to the door and informed me their respective daughters had been bullied by my two daughters on the bus. As the conversation unfolded they claimed someone threw a shoe (are we back in the Bush era?), pictures were taken on a phone & a Who Gets to Sit By Whom thing happened. I listened.

At one point, one of their lip curls up and she announces “if someone else puts a picture of my kid on the internet, all bets are off..”

She said. She said.

We’ve all been in Jr. High.

Later, I get a terse email to further explain how Right they were and how Wrong my offspring was….and to instruct me not to perpetuate this conversation in the ‘social media because nothing good could come of it.’

Something has. I’m a better parent. I jumped my kids’ butts’ to interrogate them on these incidents. They were not 100% free of blame, but it was not the level that was portrayed on my doorstep. I called the school to be proactive and let the guidance counselors know. Turns out those other two moms have them on speed dial….And her kid is in someone else’s profile pic on Facebook,… although the kids is not allowed to have her own page.

Words & phrases are overused. But ‘ya know what’, ‘at the end of the day’, I realized with ‘friends like these, who needs enemies’ & that ‘you catch more flies with honey’. Catch ya around the ‘social media’, ladies. I’ll be the one on the ‘high road.’

Bullying really happens. Don’t’ belittle bullying by overusing it in pre-teen/ teenage girl This Happens Every Day situations. And don’t bully me on my front porch.

_ Jill Hickey is 17 year wife of Jerry, mom of Maggie, Allie Grace & Samantha age 13,12, 9 and Patrick, 2. She writes the site NotSoSoccerMom.com and hosts the radio talkshows NotSoSoccerMom (1pmEST Tuesdays at 1pmEST on Toginet.com online radio) & Get Your Buzzz On (10amEST Fridays).

FRESH AS A DAISY!

2011-09-29T09:26:00.001-05:00

Well it has taken some time, but the new site is up and running! Take a DEEP breath and you can still smell the new car smell ... ahh it is like Christmas morning right!

I am so excited about the new look and design of the blog and I am even more excited that we are now a .com site! I did not know where I wanted to go with this blog when I first started, I still go back and read some of my posts with the crazy misspelled words and bad punctuation and laugh. Check out the first post here. I never guessed that I would be getting over a 1,000 hits every month, I did not expect famous people to link my blog to their twitter accounts or ever get the chance to speak to other bloggers I look up to. Over the years so much has happened, we have celebrated together, welcomed new life, and morned the loss of my mother, and I can not thank you enough for sticking with me through all of it.

So welcome new readers, subscribers and diva faithfuls. Here is to many more diary entries to come!

PS

A big THANK YOU goes out to Amber at Zany Dezines for the AMAZING new look! Check the out at: http://zanydezines.com/ and tell them the DIVA sent you!

Welcome Becky!

2011-09-26T16:33:00.001-05:00

Dear Diary,

While I understand it is very important to teach my kids about responsibility is teaching that lesson with a pet really necessary? Well according to their dear father it is. My husband has the ~~brilliant~~ idea to get the little diva a pet, and with our son's health issues no four legged animal is allowed in our home so he came up with a fish instead. So he went out and bought 1 - ~~Toddler mini splash bucket~~ Mini Fish Tank 1- Set of fish rocks ~~for her to dig out~~ for looks, and 1 - Fish Tree and to top it off 1 - Red Beta Fish.

My husband was so proud, he set everything up in her room (much to my disagreement) and explained to mini diva how this was her pet, now her responsibility. Now, when I was 3 I did not understand the following things: rules, adults and fish, and it looks like my daughter is following in my footsteps. So here is one week with Becky the fish

Day One: Stares at the fish for about 24 hours

Day Two: Her and her friend think it would be fun to try to catch the fish.

Day 3: Thinks the fish needs "accessories" like her rubber band, mirror and lip gloss in the tank.

Day 4: Water is so dirty you can't see inside

Day 5: I think the fish is in shock

Day 6: Mini Diva is crying because "Becky" refuses to swim

Day 7: Husband changes water for Becky, forgets to have it at room temp

Day 8: Becky bubbles up to fish heaven.

Day 9: Mommy says no more pets.

Day 13: Mini diva won't stop talking about how "Becky is dead"

Day 15: Mini diva cries for new Becky.

Day 15 1/2: This diva is sick of the crying and decides to try one more time with a fish.

So we arrive at the pet store, we walk around and mini diva is having a ball looking at all the animals inside the store. She asks for a parrot I simply tell her: "No." she responds: (Enter screaming voice) "But I wants a bird mommmmyyyyyy!!" I respond with "Birds eat children, why do you think there are so many birds here, do you really want to be eaten by a bird?" Her response: "Even outside birds that fly over the house?" My response: "No that's Jesus pets, they love kids, because they don't have to go in cages." Her response: "Okay I will just get a fish." I am going to hate the day she realizes mostly everything I tell her is a lie.

So we wander around going from fish tank to fish tank looking at all types of fish, I give her the choice to have any fish she wants, so she picks a turtle. I told her that she was close, but turtles like birds eat kids, so we move on. She finally turns the corner and there they were, the beta fish. Cheap little wonderful fish that are suppose to be low-maintenance (Have they tested that on 3 year old levels?) She screams out "Becky there you are! You not dead! Mommy Becky not dead!" Well keeping up with my level of lying, I tell her that indeed that is Becky and somehow she swam back to the pet store, and we purchase Becky.

Now Becky II is beck at home and swimming great in the tank that is no longer taken residence in her room, but in the kitchen where random objects can stay out and 3 year old little hands can't wash themselves in fish water. So welcome Becky II .. May your life be longer than your twin. In the meantime enjoy some pics of the day:

Looking at the "deadly" birds.

Looking at the "deadly" turtles.

"That's not Becky mom!"

Can I have a cat?

Well hello Becky! (Becky II)

Calling Dancing With the Stars!

2011-09-16T11:37:00.000-05:00

Since my daughter was born (now 3 going on 21) she has been completely unable to sit still. At the tender age of 6 months that little diva decided that crawling just wasn't for her and walked on her own, unassisted and has been non stop ever since. Addi is completely random and full of life (wonder where she gets that from??) she makes my world a much better place. With that all said she has a love for dancing and while she is 100% a white girl trying to dance she is the cutest thing doing it .. Check her out at a year and half old with her bad self dancing to some dance beats (don't judge my music, in my heart I still live in the year 2000 and I am 18 again .. k .. thanks!)

So last night it came at no surprise that I caught her in my bathroom with headphones on rocking out to "Dude look like a lady" (girl's got taste) on her ipod. (Don't judge her white girl dancing skills) I don't know what I think is cuter, her dancing in her underwear (channeling Tom Cruise much?) or that towards the end in her oh-so serious voice yells out "Let's Do This!" (I don't think she understands that's a statement meant for the pre-dance but whatever).
Check out her shaking that thang! I'm so proud ..

Disclaimer: My bathroom is messy .. so no comments on that thankyouverymuch.

Now Enjoy ..

Now doesn't this make your day better .. Your welcome.

*Don;t forget to comment below! :)

Gay Polygamy .. It will change the world.

2011-09-12T10:36:00.001-05:00

Before I start this post, let me give a quick disclaimer. I have had maybe 15 hours of sleep in 7 days total, add to that a very long but fun tailgate for the LSU football game on Saturday makes for a ~~still drunk~~ tired me. My brain is not working at full function so this whole post in theory sounds amazing to me right now, so enjoy.

So my husband's job takes him away from home more than I care to say I like. Basically I am a single mom which is challenging considering I work full time and I am trying to juggle 3 business's on my own as well. At the end of the day it would be nice to just have a man around the house to keep me company, but there's that whole hang out with other guys and they try to sleep with you thing. So as I was watching my new favorite show call the A-List (think Real Housewives with ALLOT more sass and hot gay men) it got me to thinking on how to help my situation. Get ready for it: I AM GOING TO MARRY A GAY MAN. Now I know what you thinking: "But your married!" and yes you would be correct but here comes part two of my all time most incredible idea: I AM GOING TO BECOME A POLYGAMIST but minus that whole I am going to be someones 100th wife while wife 99 is 13 thing. That's right boys and girls, I am going to be a gay marrying polygamist. And before you get your panties in a wad and go all church on me hear me out:

Fix problem #1: Since building my house 3 years ago, I have yet to find time to decorate. I can't exactly ask my husband to do that, so gay husband can do it! There is no man with better taste than a gay man.

Fix problem #2: I tend to be a emotional mess, my husband desperately tries to help me but almost always says the wrong thing, gay husband steps in tells me "Bitch get off your ass throw some heels on and lets dance!" emotional problems fix, wife is happy again.

Fix Problem #3: Now this is where I might have to marry a drag queen (but so worth it), all my hair and makeup issues before work/going out with the girls/going shopping are solved. I am looking great which means happier me, and we all know happier girls are the prettiest girls (Audrey Hepburn said it so it has to be true).

Fix Problem #4: Gay husband is around to help out around the house and keep me company while I am lonely when straight husband is out of town, I see allot of great romantic comedies in my future.. BONUS!

Fix Problem #5: I never have to worry about making both men jealous when I see other one or I never have to worry about getting upset when gay husband is off with his life partner or daily boy toy.

Fix Problem #6: No one is better than telling you that you look awful in plaid or your ass looks fat in those jeans than your gay husband. Your straight husband tells you that and he would be killed.

Fix Problem #7: Most gay men I know are hot. Enough said.

See, there are so many reasons that I need to be a gay marrying polygamist. Yeah I am sure not every gay man is this way (that would be a stero type and well I ~~almost~~ never use those) but I am almost sure that like the perfect soul mate, I will find my perfect gay mate. He's out there somewhere styling, decorating and using the term bitch in all the right ways. Some day my gay prince will come and I am here waiting, in fabulous jeans and 6 inch high heels and he is too. Oh where is he??

Wait .. I think I found him on Youtube ..

Everyone Hates Me .. No Really.

2011-09-07T12:49:00.000-05:00

You would think now that I am almost 30 years old I would have left the days of petty drama, school aged bullying and vicious gossip. However, I am in pageants so basically that is apart of my everyday life. Recently, well like yesterday, my friends and I have been the subject of vicious attacks by some not so nice people. I thought by reaching out to one of those people to stop the drama it only lead to her calling me a "B**ch" and saying things like "Everyone Hates You". See, if I was not more secure in who I was I might let that get to me, but I have overcome a lot of things in my life, some bad and others really damn bad, that petty things people say don't really bother me anymore. (Small people say big things and that's just how life is). But all of this got me to thinking, as parents we teach our children about bullying and how to handle in and outside of school, but what do you do when your an adult, how do you handle adults bullies? So turning to the wise Jenny Lawson of "The Bloggess" she writes this hilarious column for The Stir by Cafe Mom, and she wrote an article titled "Bullies". She really made some funny points but she did hit home with a lot of what she said. Instead of sitting here and venting about how bitchy and rude people can be at times, I mean who doesn't have to deal with small people on a daily basis, I wanted to go further into things that people should hate more than me. I mean if people indeed really hated me, and by everyone I mean everyone, I figured I would come up with a list of things you might hate more than me, and in turn you realize I am not so bad and love me again. (Won't you love me again .. come on .. you love me .. say it.)

1. Backseat drivers. Those people will drive you batshit crazy.

2. The elephant exhibit at the zoo. Have you smelled what the hell is going on at that section of the zoo, for the love of god someone spray some air freshener, that's enough to ruin your whole day.

3. People who walk slow while grocery shopping and take up the entire isle while doing it. Those people suck. I just want to get my cream corn and leave and now because of you I have been in here for 45 minutes and now my kid is crying, thanks you now have ruined my day and now my baby hates you.

4. People who use the word "beautician". Seriously this is not 1972, they are called stylist.

5. Corn.

6. The voice for the emergency alert system. Second thought, don't hate on that, I am pretty sure that guy is the devil and his voice makes me think he could do really bad things to people who hate on him.

7. Chuck Norris.

8. People who use the 10 items or less lane, and clearly have 11 items. There are rules for a reason people.

9. Harold Camping. Because of him I have no damn idea when the world is going to end now. Thanksalot.

10. Amber from Teen Mom. Wait never mind, she makes me and you look like a world class parents, so scratch that.

11. People who call themselves plastic. Those girls are most likely bitches anyway. (inside joke) :)

See, there are so many other things to hate on in this world than me, so why don't we just go with those and go back to loving me again, okay? Truth is, there are people who will love and accept you for you. There will always be people who try to crush your dreams, criticize your blog and tell you your dog is ugly but those people just do not matter. Keep being true to who you are, let your freak flag fly because at the end of the day life is too short for the small people; there is too much beauty all around you to focus on the ugliness.

And as Jenny Lawson says:
“Everyone is special and unique and wonderful. Except for the assholes. They’re just assholes. Don’t become one of them or I will disown you.”

Be Kind. Be Beautiful. Be You.

I speak sarcasm thankyouverymuch.

2011-09-02T10:58:00.001-05:00

I figured it's been a while, well never, since I posted a ABOUT ME blog. And since today is Friday and my favorite subject is me anyway I said why the hell not. So sit back, relax, and promise not to stage any kind of intervention after reading this .. k?

1. My name is Kimberly and that is about all your going to get. (Ha Ha identity thieves, you won't get me THIS time!)

2. I am 29 years old and in a few months I will be 30. I am excited about 30 actually, and according to a poll ~~I just made up for CNN~~, 30 is the new 16 which makes my husband a criminal.

3. I am loud and extremely outgoing, which according to my therapist makes me painfully insecure, so I fired him. I don't need someone else pointing out my flaws I have sisters for that thankyouverymuch.

4. I have two kids, I am pretty sure by the time they are able to fully understand what real moms should be like, they will probably think Jesus played a big joke on them or they won some kind of crap lottery. But I am okay with that because they are stuck with me anyway.

5. I have 3 jobs. I work full time at a regular 9-5, I sell Plexus Slim and a amaze-balls skincare line called Rodan and Fields. I talk about it allot so get ready to be skinny and look beautiful! (~~They pay me to say that~~)

6. I am a middle child. Please see #3 about and hence why I need a shrink. My family thinks I am funny as hell but I am pretty sure if I went missing, there wouldn't be any major searching going on from any of them either, now that's real love.

7. I hate racist and bigots. Seriously who loves those people anyway. I am a proud gay and lesbian supporter, and I love black people, yes it's okay to say black people Kayne West made that cool again. And I pretty much think there is a gay man living inside me, and yes he is a drag queen. So for anyone who thinks god hates gays, well your wrong, god hates people who thinks he hates gays, oh and also people who wear fanny packs on a daily basis. Besides doesn't Heaven sound allot more fun if there was one giant gay pride parade rolling down those streets of gold?

8. I am a pageant girl, stop judging me or if you judge me make sure I get all 10's k?.

9. I have a large group of best friends. They are all so different in many ways and are all like family to me, and I have no doubts that if I did go missing they would be the ones to look for me, or know me well enough to follow the trail of wine bottles I would leave behind.

10. My "other sisters" are called the "plastics". Now before you get all crazy thinking we named ourselves after some bitchy ass girls off the Mean Girls movie, you would be wrong. Some bigger bitch did that for us and we just embraced it. Since the invention of private chat apps we have pretty much talk every single second of the day, literally. I am also sure that if anyone stole our phones and read our messages to each other we would all be prime candidates for a major intervention. Think this is a joke, well here is a tiny taste of a conversation we had yesterday, names have been changed to protect the ~~guilty~~ innocent.

Jane #4 - Hey is that skin stuff going to make me white like Micheal Jackson?

Jane #3 - No it won't and stop trying to fulfill your dreams of being Caucasian.

Jane #1 - Hey Jane #2 Dr. **** said your doctor is full of shit about those meds, he said what your taking now is like taking Benadryl

Jane #2 - So is that why I like taking 50 at one time?

Then there was talk about anal ease and it's way too early for that. ... plus I am not 100% sure any of us were drunk during that conversation so continuing might scare you, or me, who knows.

So here is a taste of who I am. If you don't like it, well stick around it gets much worse. And if you did you're probably drunk and for that I give you kudos! Now I have to go get ready for this small little hurricane that's approaching, don't worry I have all the essentials ready: food for the kids and vodka for me! Here's to a hurricane party weekend folks!

P.S.

Since its Follow Friday here are a few blogs I ~~stalk~~ love.

http://www.theblogess.com/

http://www.snarkmistress.com/

http://4theluvofwriting.blogspot.com/

http://www.imgonnakillhim.com/

http://twistedfate-rockinmama.blogspot.com/

http://workingmommyof1.blogspot.com/

http://www.dramafilledmama.com/

http://thisiswhyihateu.com/

See a pattern? Enjoy!

Reasons I make a horrible wife ..

2011-09-01T16:53:00.001-05:00

Yesterday in a heated debate, ~~scheduled fight~~, over scrub brushes and which ones work better (yes that actually happens in my home) I started thinking, mostly because I was tuning my husband out, of the various reasons I am not a good wife and lucky for me my husband has ADHD and hasn't picked up on any of these traits in me, hence why he won't/can't leave.

1. I hate to cuddle. Not because I don't like affection but mostly because I think cuddling is way to figure how hard you can squeeze a person before ultimately killing them. Plus I picture him having his arms around me just to lay that white towel of chloroform over my mouth and nose.

2. I hate to cook. Not that I actually hate to cook, but cooking reminds me of this one horrible childhood memory of when I was "sauteing" apple (don't ask) which lead to my moms recipe book catching on fire which lead to the back wall on fire, which leads me to a bigger question as to why my mother had a recipe book behind the burners of a stove anyway. Anyway. I hate to cook.

3. I don't clean. I mean I clean but not really. I have good intentions to start but then I just end up on the couch watching t.v. or playing with the kids. Besides I watch my sisters cleaning their homes all the time, and it really doesn't look like fun, and I like fun things.

4. I never let him have the last word. Does this really need explaining? No, really does it? Stop it.

5. I never say I love you. Well I do, but not when hanging up the phone. He tries but then I just hang up because I feel that we run the risk of looking like two whipped 30 something year old's trying to recapture our youth, I mean I am still youthful but seriously people, who wants to hear me go on and on about how much I love my husband when we both know the conversation is either about who will pick up milk or baby poop. There is no I love you after baby poop, unless he cleaned it, then yes honey, I love you.

6. I don't let him talk about "the glory days". Okay, my husband went to private school and was high most of the time, which you would think in theory would be hilarious, but he never seems to remember exactly what happened which leads to a ton of long pauses in his story which results from me tuning him out and thinking about ways to leave the room without making him to mad.

See there you have it. Well not all of it. I feel like if I go on, he will have hard proof to show a judge one day of why he should get alimony and payment for "distress" and I can't have that, I mean, who would clean the baby poop then? Certainly not me.

And the winner is ..

2011-09-01T14:22:00.000-05:00

First off THANK YOU to everyone who entered my Spa 4 Ma give away! This was such a fun experience and I can not wait to be apart of it again!

Now onto the WINNER!

Congrats Helen! You are our lucky winner! Please email me at divamommy09 @ aol . com to claim your prize!!!!!

Keep coming back, we have paired up with some amazing companies in the next few weeks for even more amazing giveaways!

AHH!!!

2011-08-29T16:38:00.000-05:00

So there are moments of your blogging that you can catalog as "highlights". For some it may be when they reach a number of followers or first advertiser but for me I can say I have had some pretty cool moments on my blog. One of those moments was when Leann Rimes re tweeted a link to my blog and it literally shut it down, and while that was listed as pretty damn awesome, THIS is a pretty big moment for me:

When one of your all time favorite bloggers follows you back on Twitter, well sorry Leann, you just got trumped.

12 Things You Should Not Say to Your Child ..

2011-08-24T09:34:00.001-05:00

I am a huge fan of cafemom and with that makes me a even bigger fan of "thestir" from cafemom. A few months ago The Stir posted a column from a featured blogger by the name of Jenny Lawson. From the second my eyes scanned her write up I was in tears, this woman is beyond funny and yet scary real. I look forward to her posts and now I am a even bigger fan of her website "The Bloggess" . I found her recent post "12 Things You Should Not Say to Your Child" beyond funny, I think she channels my inner sarcasm but you see for yourself. You can find Jenny column here. Please enjoy her hilarious column below.

This week CNN ran a story called "9 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Child." Personally, I was surprised that they could only think of nine, but I assumed that I could guess them all without even reading their post. So I wrote down my list of things that I thought you should never say to your kid and turns out their list of prohibited things included stuff like “Don’t be sad” and “Great job!”

My list included things like, “Of course you can go play with those bears” and “But how will you know you don’t like meth unless you try it?”

I suppose CNN and I will just have to agree to disagree on this one. But while we’re on the subject, I’d like to share with you my list of things you probably shouldn’t say to your child. (Feel free to add your own in the comments.)

1.You made a "C-" in Social Studies? We paid to have your tail removed and this is how you repay me? Yeah, that’s right. You had a tail, Carole-Anne. And God help me, I will reattach it myself if you don’t get your shit together.

2.Oh my gosh, that stray dog totally wants to hug you! Growling is just “loud purring.” If you‘ll stop screaming, he’ll probably stop biting.

3.Why won’t I let you go to Chuck E. Cheese? Because your lies killed Santa Claus. What lies? Well I don’t know, Morgan. I’d ask Santa but I can’t. Because he’s dead.

4.I did too get you a pony. It’s in the freezer. Are you hungry?

5.Well, maybe I wouldn’t drink so much if you didn’t lose so many beauty pageants. YOU’RE COMPETING AGAINST 4-YEAR-OLDS, SARAH. HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

6.So your mom has a new boyfriend, huh? Well, when he asks you to call him “daddy,” what do you say? That’s right. You say, “My mommy is a whore.”

7.Well, when you were in my belly, you were twins. Then you ate your sister. And that’s why you can’t have a puppy.

8.Why can’t you be more like the cat? Yes, Jackson, I am aware it ran away. My God, for a 6-year-old, you cannot take a hint. You know who could take a hint though? Mr. Sparkles. That cat had talent.

9.Sometimes I regret stealing you from that leper colony.

10.You have your father’s eyes. I kept them for you so you’d have something to remember him by. They’re in a box under your bed.

11.::bats eyes:: Who’s your friend? Is he in seventh grade too? Aren’t you going to introduce me?

12.Well, I can’t drive to the hospital until I sober up, so you’ll just have to drop those fingers on ice for a few hours. Or in milk. I can’t remember which you do for cut-off fingers. But don’t use my milk. I am totally craving cereal right now.

Linking You Up the Right Way!

2011-08-23T16:03:00.000-05:00

If you are visiting from Spa for Ma, WELCOME!!! If you are already a daily reader, HOW-DEE! I am really enjoying the Spa for Ma blog link up, there are some pretty amazing bloggers out there giving away some amazing items so if you have not checked out what all this is about make sure you do that now! If you are looking for my Spa for Ma give away click here.

So a really good friend of mine Drama Filled Mama told me about a fun giveaway she is doing on her blog that she thought I should share with my readers, and I think I agree with her, it's a must for my soon to be mommy readers or if you know someone expecting a bundle of joy soon or even those new moms! She is giving away a set of "What to Expect" books and you can find out all about her giveaway here.

In other great blogger news my "twin" at Lessons Learned Blog has joined the facebook world! If you have ever read her blog you love her honest and whitty write up's. She talks about everything from obvious life lessons to family lessons. I love how she puts everything she feels right out there for the world to read and I am very lucky to call her a friend! Check out Lessons Leaned here and "like" Lessons Learned faceboook here. Make sure you tell her Diary of a Diva Mom sent you!

So that's all for now! Don't forget to sign up for my big Rodan and Fields skincare giveaway, the contest is ending soon, don't miss out!

Spa for Ma has Begun!!!

2011-08-18T14:46:00.001-05:00

*THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!!!!*

So I am a little bit, well okay fashionably late but a good thing is worth waiting for right?? Spa for Ma has begun and I am giving away a FABULOUS gift basket for one lucky mom from Rodan and Fields! I want to thank MeasuringFlower.com and Graphoniac.com for being such wonderful hosts for this amazing event and I am so honored to be apart of it! So you wanna see what I am giving away? Well here I go!

One lucky mommy will be chosen from Random.org and will win a micro-dermabrasion gift basket from Rodan and Fields - Kimberly Owen Independent Consultant. The gift basket includes:

1 - Lip Micro-Dermabrasion - This product will leave your lips silky smooth while giving lips a more youthful appearance!

1 - Body Micro-Dermabrasion - OMG I pamper myself with this stuff every night! Not only can you use this to exfolate your entire body but I replace my shaving gel with Body Micro-Dermabrasion and my legs keep thanking me for it and so will you!

1 - Micro-Dermabrasion Paste - There is a reason most Rodan users keep coming back for more and more and more of this paste! My face gets the pampering it needs 3 times a week! My skin feels amazing and I get the exfoliation I need! The added plus of the paste is that it enhances cell turnover and improves skin texture and skin tone!

The total for this gift basket is worth over $100!!!!

Disclaimer: All items provided by sponsors for this event. We were not compensated in any way and all opinions are our own. Giveaway starts 8-18 and ends 8-31. Applicable in the US only please.

So you want to know how to win?? Well here's how!

Mandatory: Follow us on GFC

Want more ways to win here is how:

1. Comment Below (1)
2. Follow me on Twitter @diaryofadivamom (1)
3. Leave your email for us to add to the Rodan and Fields email list (2)
4. Visit the Rodan and Fields Website https://knowen.myrandf.com/ and leave us a comment of one item you would want on your wish list!

On 9/1 we will draw the winner from random.org!

Also please visit my other friends participating in this event, they have FABULOUS stuff to give away as well!

Hey! Hey! Its Thankful Thursday!

2011-08-11T13:57:00.000-05:00

So let's not all be so shocked here, my beautiful babies are what I am so thankful today and everyday. Their love is amazing and even though they have caused me grey hairs (Thanks to my stylist for that great highlight job!) ... wrinkles (Thank You Rodan and Fields for making it possible for me to look 21) ... and stress (thank you wine!) I still wouldn't trade them for anything in the world and being a mommy is the greatest job and gift from God! And look how fast they are growing up!!! ..

Mini Diva .. Newborn Pic, 1st Birthday, 2nd Birthday and the BIG 3!

My little mister! Newborn Pic, 3 months, 6 months and super duper 8 months!

So yes, I am a lucky girl! So until next time, keep it diva ladies!!!

www.knowen.myrandf.com
www.plexusslim.com/10207

The Not-So Wordless Wednesday!

2011-08-10T11:33:00.000-05:00

Right now this is inspiring me to keep going! Yes not so wordless but this is my blog and I will do what I want .. I am a rebel like that.. (lol.)

Thankful Thursday!

2011-08-04T14:01:00.001-05:00

So there have been a few things I had to struggle with after having my son in December. I was overweight and feeling pretty down about how I looked, then I had these horrible skin issues that I thought would go away to only find out after 7 months it would only get worse! I had these brown dark spots that just got darker and darker and red blotchy skin. Don't get me wrong, little man was SO worth it, but I just wanted to feel good again! So now that I have been losing weight (60 lbs so far!) it was time to tackle my skin. Well I have seen the best doctors, tried about 6,000 products and I finally have what I have been looking for! A good friend told me about Rodan and Fields and their amazing anti-aging line. Well turns out Rodan and Fields is actually the doctors that invented Proactive so I had to know more! Well, imagine my surprise when I saw that it was not just for anti-aging, they had a product line for everyone. They have a "soothe" line for sensitive skin, their very popular anti-aging, a un-blemish line for acne and acne scaring and what I actually starting using called "reverse" for dark spots and sun damage. Well I took a pic on day one and now after a week and I was SO EXCITED when I saw the results! Look how great I already look:

I am so excited to see how much better I look! The redness is gone, the dark spots fading, and my skin is brighter! This really is amazing! I love the products that I started as a consultant with them because I want to help people just like me!

If you want more information or you want to order products for yourself go to the site at:

https://knowen.myrandf.com/

Don't know what product you will need, well that's okay, there is a fun tool to use to find out exactly what you will need to help you look your best and maybe your youngest!
FYI: Preferred customers get a discount on the kits and FREE shipping so jump on this opportunity today!
And if you think this could be a fun career for you or if you want to just make some extra cash email me at lsugurl@gmail.com and I will be happy to give you some info! Don't wait! Start looking your best TODAY!

Wordless Wednesday!

2011-08-03T15:35:00.000-05:00

Sarah Robbins my mentor with Rodan and Fields posted this on her Facebook page the other day and I thought it was a GREAT post for today! So if there is something you are driving towards, keep this somewhere near you at all times, it keeps me going!

Cool Moments

2011-08-01T12:44:00.001-05:00

So lately I have had some pretty amazing things happening. Yes, I am busier than ever, in fact a friend asked me the other day if I ever slept and I honestly answered "no". My brain is always working, I am on "go mode" almost everyday. Yes its exhausting to be me, yet I have big plans for my life, so when I reach my goals, I will have plenty of time to relax! LOL. So Saturday was a day I have been looking forward to for some time. Myself along with three of my nearest and dearest hopped into a car for a VIP Business Launch Party at the beautiful home of Miss Britney Spears! Yes do not adjust your computer screens you read that correctly, Britney Spears. We drove a hour to Kentwood, Louisiana and drove up right to the gate of "Serenity" and I know now why the family named it that.

Can you feel the excitement!

It was a beautiful time, the Spears home isn't "showy" like you would think, in fact, it is very comfortable. I can't even explain how wonderful Lynne Spears is. She has never lost that amazing southern hospitality. When I walked in, she came right up to me and said she had heard so many wonderful things about me, this was Lynne Spears complimenting ME! Yeah that was by far a "I could just fall over and die right now moment." The meeting went off amazing. I am so proud to be apart of such a amazing organization. While Rodan and Fields may not be for everyone, it was a perfect fit for me. Lynne said something that hit home for me, "Imagine if you were asked to be apart of Proactive when it was first launched, imagine where you would be." And she is so right. Dr. Rodan and Dr. Fields are going to do what they did what they did with Proactive and do it again with this skincare line, I can see it now and I am excited about where this will take me! I started this because of the supplemental income and now I know I want more than just that. I have big goals ahead, and I am really excited for the future. This is the one time in a long time I am doing something for myself. This is beyond my husband and children, this is for me. I can't wait for everything to happen so stayed tuned! Here are a few pictures of the party! Enjoy!!!

All dressed up for the event! 60 lbs gone so far!!!

Some of "Team Southern Rock" for Rodan and Fields

Marlo and Me .. She signed me up and I can't thank her enough!!

My best friends and I with Lynne Spears our wonderful host!

**If you are interested in learning more about Rodan and Fields products or how to be apart of this WONDERFUL LIFE CHANGING BUSINESS go to my site: www.knowen.myrandf.biz or email me at lsugurl@gmail and I can answer any of your questions!!

Have I forgotten you .. No Way!!

2011-07-26T16:10:00.000-05:00

So I will admit it, I have been the definition of flake lately when it comes to my blogging. I swear when I got into doing this I had the best intentions, I actually became addicted to where I found a need to post every single day. But after my mom died and our second child was born I kinda lost that "spark" for writing. Now a few months later I find myself missing my commenter's and readers, I miss sharing my everyday life with complete strangers who have morned with me and celebrated with me. So, needless to say, I am BACK! I can't say you will get commentary everyday, but I think a few times a week I can do, after all my three year old keeps me filled with plenty to talk about!

So let me quickly catch you up, Conner is now almost 8 months old and doing great. His RSV has set us back a few times and he was getting sick almost daily. So I have decided to pull the kids out of daycare and have a private sitter come to the house for now. Since keeping them at home, he is doing better and my never ending 7 am cry fits with the mini diva have stopped, which oddly enough, the grey hairs aren't coming out as quick, hmm ...

I finally visited my moms grave, it was a very surreal moment looking at a marble wall that contains the person who gave you life. I wept for a few days after and never went back, until this past Sunday. I had been having dreams about my mom being sad about my kids, I knew in my heart she wanted them to come and visit her resting place. So, I finally did it, with two best friends holding my hand and my husband and kids by my side we came and said hello to the grandmother Conner never met and Addison didn't see enough. I can't tell you the peace I finally have with everything so I am so glad I did it. Here are some pics of our visit. As you can tell I have a amazing support system.

Addi aka "mini diva" is finally 3 and well her attitude is showing such! Her personality is just growing to be allot like mine. She tells it like it is, but loves with all she has. God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with that little diva, and I can't tell you how I love her. She reminds me so much of my mom sometimes, shes feisty and funny all at once, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

See why she is a DIVA???
In keeping with my new years resolutions I am committed to changing my life, I said I wanted to take care of myself more and lose this baby weight and toddler weight and drink too much wine weight, and I am proud to say that 60 lbs later I am going strong! I still have about 40 to go, but I am on my way. My best friend told me about this amazing product that was all natural and well the picture speaks for itself ..

The product is called PLEXUS SLIM and I am telling you it has CHANGED MY LIFE! I am now a PROUD rep for them because I know where I was and where I am today .. If you want info check out my link at www.plexusslim.com/10207

And also keeping up with my transformation I am taking better care of my skin now too, I was very honored that I was asked to join the team from the makers of Proactive to try out their skin care line called Rodan and Fields. Look at my pic in July and you can see how amazing my skin looks, they have products ranging from acne treatments, to a reversal line (which I am using) and a anti age line, get the info at http://knowen.myrandf.com

Both products have helped me personally and financially so if you want info on how to make some extra money let me know! lsugurl@gmail.com

So, that's that .. well not all of it but the cliff notes version. I promise not to be a bad ex boyfriend and stop calling, I am back with a whole lot to say! Until then stay sassy!

UBP 2011!!!!

2011-04-01T10:45:00.000-05:00

Well hello!!! If your visiting from the Ultimate Blog Party, I want to say WELCOME!!! Here have some cake!

If this is your first visit WELCOME and if you are a subscriber .. Well THANKS!!!!! A little bit about me,
I am 29 years old and I from the great state of LOUISIANA! No I do not have a pet alligator and I don't live in a shack on the bayou. However I do have 110 pound bulldog and I can clean up some crawfish faster than you can boil them sha! I am a mom of two beautiful kids, Addi (my mini diva) who is 2 1/2 going on 22 and my son Conner who is just 3 months!!

Cute right! I know .. I have a wonderful husband who I have been married to for 3 1/2 years and while our life is hectic we still manage to balance it all together! I write about my crazy but fun life, reviews and more! So sit back, eat that yummy cake and feel free to look over my blog! If you LOVE or well just like what you read PLEASE subscribe!!

Happy Partying!

Springtime in Louisiana .. And a ER visit.

2011-03-28T14:43:00.000-05:00

Oh how I was looking forward to this weekend with my kiddo's! I had everything setup for a perfect Saturday, swimming pool, cold watermelon, LOTS of frozen treats, suntan oil and bathing suits. Saturday morning started off wonderful, I woke up to this face staring at me in bed:

I decided that while I went out and set everything up, both kids needed a nap before playtime could even start. My daughter without a nap is like well, the worst possible thing you can imagine and I know we both needed a fun day (lol). About 30 minutes into what was "suppose" to be nap time I went check on the baby and he like always was sound asleep, the mini diva however, was not. She was in bed complaining of a tummy ache when I pulled her out of bed I noticed about 100 beads from a bracelet she broke under the covers, she proceeded to tell me that she ATE some. Great. I called the doctor and he told me that she just had to pass them and there was not much I could do. When I went to lay her back down I noticed that she had some shiny objects in her nose, now I know my child is 100% human so this was cause for alarm. I pulled out two small beads from her nose which sent me into panic mode, why? Well there was still one in there, and REALLY in there. After screaming at a neighbor for help (she has two kids, I figured one would have had to stick something up their nose at one point) I decided to rush to the ER. One hour later THIS is what the doctor pulled out ..

How the hell did she get that in there??

After the ER the doctor gave the mini diva a good bill of health and gave me a rather LARGE bill. But I promised her a fun day, and while it might started off VERY rough, a FUN SPRING DAY WOULD GO ON!!! We got home and we got right into swimsuits and lathered in sun screen. Let the fun day begin! Days like this make my heart full and happy. I am so blessed to say I am a mother.

Aren't they cute???

The Diva.

My "big" man.

So how do you spend your spring weekends??

Smiles

2011-03-24T13:56:00.001-05:00

My husband recently got a amazing job offer the only catch is, he is out of town 70% of the time. With him being gone we went from a duo that helped each other with everything from walking the dog to bathing the kids. We had a routine that really suited us, so when he left it was quite a struggle for me to go from duo to solo. I find myself now running around like a mad man. I wake up at 4 am (yes 4 am, I am NOT a nice person then), feed the baby, chase my two year old around for about a hour just to get her dressed, (she is like her mother see 4 am wake up time) squeeze in enough time to wash the important parts and head out the door. When I get home I literally do not stop till 11 pm. Between the chaos and work I sometimes forget to enjoy my kids and my life. I am so busy running around to stop and smell the roses, cliche' I know, but it's true. So this morning I decided instead of waking up in my normal "get me coffee or give me death" attitude, I would slow down and enjoy the morning with my kids. I laughed with my 3 month old, and sang to my two year old to wake up, (she apparently didn't get the mommy is trying to be happier memo) and I didn't run out the door, I walked, hand in hand with my mini diva and baby smiles on my hip, and I smiled.

Smiling is so underrated. As mother's we get so caught up in just being a mom that we forget so many times to BE A FUN MOM. We get bogged down with routine that we just don't enjoy our lives like we should. When my own mother died I forgot to see the beauty in things, the beauty in life in general, but I do now. Don't get me wrong I am not a walking ad for pleasant-ville, but I am just smiling more.

Here's today's things that make me smile more:

Watching Addi play with her favorite toy.

How can you NOT smile at this face??

Beautiful windows into heaven. Hi Mom :)

My sunroof open with a good 80's song blaring.

What made you smile today??? Comments welcomed!! :)

4 Months Later ..

2011-03-23T12:57:00.000-05:00

Today is so hard. It has been 4 months since my mother passed away. The last few months I have been staring at the keyboard, I have been wanting to write about my mother's passing, not just small details here and there but really get out what I have been feeling. Truth is I can't get my thoughts together long enough to write anything that has made any sense, because the pain I am going through is so tough. So here I am 4 months later still so many mixed emotions and I can not for the life of me get them right in my head, so I am just going to type. Allot of this blog will not make sense at times, if at all. This is my raw feelings and I really hope that anyone reading this has lost someone it helps them see the emotions and that it is okay, and I hope that at the end of this I feel somewhat whole again, but I doubt it. So here goes nothing...

Four months have passed since my mom left this world. I wish that I could say her death was a shock, but apart of it wasn't. My mother drank, allot. For years my mother battled a deep addiction that sometimes she got control of and sometimes and in the end got control of her. Her disease made me angry, very angry. I tried to understand her, but sometimes her actions made it impossible for me to forgive her. There were nights that she would go missing, nights she went off the deep end and nights she just seemed so lost that I never thought I would see my mother again. In the end my mother's disease got the best of her. I think that is why I live today so damn angry. There were so many nights she would call me and just want to talk, but I knew she had too many that I didn't want to hear it. For years I tried to help her, did I do 100% to do that? No. I think I spent the last years of my mother's life so damn angry that she was so selfish that I really didn't get down to the root of the problem, and yes she probably tried to tell me, but frankly then I didn't care. After I had my daughter I almost stopped seeing her completely. I didn't and refused for my own kid to see my mother in the light that I did. I couldn't have my daughter get close to her for my mom to let her down. Deep down I think I wanted to punish my mom, and look at me now, a life full of regret, so I guess I am punishing myself now.

My younger sister really did everything to help my mom, I never got why she stuck around, until now. So many years wasted being so damn mad that I just didn't listen. Why the hell didn't I listen. I give ANYTHING to listen now. I think as children we have a expectation of our parents, we expect them never to do any wrong and be perfect. God I hope my kids don't have that expectation, boy will they be disappointed. I spent so much time pissed off that I didn't spend enough time with her. I spent so much time yelling at her to get better instead of just spending time with her.

I'm angry.

There are days I wake up like she isn't dead, like it was all a nightmare and I can run to her and tell her how sad and hurt I was that she left us, maybe she would see the pain in my eyes that she would stop. I would tell her how my sister is sad all the time, how the light in my sisters eyes is gone. Maybe that would help. Then I realize it's not a dream, this is my reality. I am 29 years old and my mother is dead. Why couldn't she just talk to me, tell me what she was feeling, what she was trying to escape from .. Maybe then I would understand, maybe then I could comfort her the way she needed. But that's not happening.

I'm alone.

She didn't have to leave me, my sisters or our kids. She didn't have to but she did. Was the pain that bad??? Was life that dark? I knew she wasn't happy, but why did she want to go away? I remember the day I got the call that she was found dead .. I will never forget that day. I was at work, and my baby sister called to give me the news. Everything after that is a blur, I just felt allot of pain. I was 9 months pregnant and I just remember telling myself that it wasn't real. It's like my body separated and my heart and soul left and really only has returned for brief periods of time. I remember sitting in that cold funeral home planning a funeral that shouldn't even be happening. Looking into my sister Ashley's eyes and seeing her in a new light that I never saw before. My sister looked so broken. I just wanted to pick her up and tell her that it was all not happening. This was a nightmare that we would wake up from. I wanted to make it better, but I couldn't. I remember the first time I saw my mother's body in that casket. She for the first time in so many years looked peaceful. I remember gripping her casket and telling her how sorry I was, how I should have been there more, how I just wanted to do anything to have her back.

This pain is to much.

Do you know when they pick you up after you die, they hand you a paper bag with your things in it that were on your body .. down to hair clips. Your life, in a bag. There's something so sad about that. The last four months I have spent remembering things about my mom that I forgot about. How she always had birthday pancakes or waffles for my birthday, and she would walk upstairs and sing to me. How she loved scary movies and even though I HATED them I would sit with her and eat popcorn. She always gave the best hugs. Every time I would go back home from being away at school or for a visit, she would greet me with the best hugs. She would take HOURS in the bathroom to get ready but when she was done, she was so beautiful. I wanted to be beautiful like my mom.

So many years wasted being pissed off.

My mom loved life for a long time. She loved me even when I most likely didn't deserve it. She loved being a grandmother. My god she would love to see Conner now .. There are so many things I wish I could take back. Tell me how you heal from that?? I should have forgiven her. I should have just heard her out. I'm sorry mom. I spent so many years blaming her for the bad things, that I never gave her credit for the good things. God I am so broken now. I wonder if she knows how sorry I am. Funny how quickly we have regret when time runs out .. so sad. Since she died, my family is split up. Funny how money does that to people. I have been told I deserve nothing from my mother. That because I chose to get out and get away I don't deserve anything. Maybe their right. Sibling have made me feel like my mother didn't care about me, that's bullshit. She loved me and no one will take that from me. I don't need her clothes, money or jewelry to validate what she meant to me. Know that.

I'm broken.

I wish my kids would know their grandmother. And I know I will be able to tell them stories and show them pictures, but that isn't enough. They won't know her hugs. God that kills me. There are times I am at work, driving in my car, in wal-mart and something will remind me of her, that song on the radio, the smell of her perfume, and I break down. Sometimes it's hard to look at my sister because I see so much of her ... No one should know this heartbreak. It feels like someone ripped my heart out and I am walking around numb. No one should know this pain this soon. The regret is eating me alive. And no words are helping it get better. I can hear myself screaming on the inside.

One week after I buried my mother, my son entered this world. 3 weeks early and just as perfect as perfect could be. He was a gift from my mom. Thanks Mom. When he smiles I know before he came you kissed him for me, because you can only make someone smile like that. I'm sorry I let you down mom. I should have been a better daughter. I really hope you forgive me. Dammit I miss you. I wish I could scream that everyday. You had a problem, but it wasn't who you were, you were so much more to me than that. I hope you know that. Please know that. Did I mention that I miss you? I want to stop crying in my sleep. I want to stop waking up with this knife pain in my stomach. I want to stop being angry. I guess that will take time .. I love you mom.

4 months and I am still breathing .. holding on .. missing you.

This is my mom's ring that she was wearing the night she died.

Not worth anything, but worth more than gold to me.

I haven't taken it off one day since she died.

Hey! Hey! Hey! It's Wordless Wednesday!!

2011-03-09T10:47:00.000-06:00

Just me after a LONG day at work! Can you relate?

37 days ...

2011-02-21T15:34:00.000-06:00

I first told you about my sweet and dear friend Dayna on a previous post called "Strength" . After my blog post I recieved a ton of emails sending their prayers for her. I wanted to update her story and I will keep updating until the day the doctors get her walking and well again. It has been 37 days since my friend has had the ability to sit up, stand up straight, or walk. After being discharged from the second hospital for insurance reasons, Dayna was sent home with a hospital bed for her mother to care for her and pray for some kind of help. Every time I see Dayna she has a smile on her face. When you go for visits she greets you with a big smile and she acts like her condition is no big deal. Seeing her pass pass out and stop breathing still shakes my soul, you never get use to it. I want to scream so loud for someone to PLEASE HELP HER!! She has seen countless doctors, been given drugs that don't seem to work and never a answer on how to get her well. Recently, her doctor suggested that Dayna be sent to Tennessee and talk to someone about her condition. Her family and Dayna is optimistic about the possibility of some kind of answers.

My hope is that all the facebook posts, her caringbridge website and my blog can maybe reach someone that can help her or this new hospital gives her the miracle we have all been praying for. I ask that whatever god you pray to; ask for a answer for my dear friend. She is really hurting and I just want to see her well again.

Dayna.

Her new set of wheels.

Best Friends.

My Little Kiddos with Dayna for a visit!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-02-16T14:10:00.000-06:00

This is my all time favorite picture of me and my dad. Since the loss of my mother I have come to realize that our parents aren't here forever and we should cherish the times we do have. I am lucky and blessed to have the dad that I do, he is strong and has taught me how to be strong. He always protects me even now that I am getting into my thirties. Here's to you Daddy ..

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2011-02-14T13:29:00.000-06:00

Ahh it's a beautiful time of year! Love is in the air, hearts floating up above, today is not just a created holiday for the greeting card industry, its that time for L-O-V-E. I am so lucky this year to have 3 Valentine's to celebrate with. I am so excited to have so much love to give and get back in return. When I was younger both of my parents made Valentine's Day very special, we woke up to candy and gifts and it became something I looked forward to year after year. So, this year I decided to start that tradition with my kids. I told Addi last night before she went to bed that "baby cupid" was going to pass while she was asleep and leave her some goodies for her and her baby brother. When she woke up this morning she screamed "Happy Day Mommy!!" and ran into the kitchen and was so delighted with what she saw, so delighted in fact, that she ran into her room with a box of chocolates while I wasn't looking and devoured it all. But in the spirit of love and excitement I let her without fussing. I hope you all have a special day no matter how you celebrate and spread the love of this beautiful day!

Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

So excited that cupid passed!

My stud on this special day.

Cupcake batter.

Special Treats.

Table is Set!

YUMMY!!

Hot Pink Shoes Today, I'm feeling the love.

Flowers and Candy! I love my husband.

My Special Valentine in Heaven. Love You Mom.

Today I am grateful for ..

2011-02-11T14:06:00.000-06:00

So lately I have been going through alot of personal turmoil that is surrounding my mom and her death. So today instead of posting my rambling about how life just sucks, I am posting somethings I am grateful for.

Addi's fun personality.

My Dad & My Sister.

New Haircuts

Sick Friends that inspire.

Funny Faces. Good Times.

Baby Smiles.

Random Text Pictures to Make me Smile.

Traditions.

Spreading the love of our favorite team to our son.

Best Friends.

The People You Can't Live Without.

The One Person Who Has Never Left My Side.

My Mother. (RIP)

** I think this will be a reoccurring post. There are so many people I am blessed to have in my life and things I am grateful everyday. For now, I hope you enjoy.

Isn't this America?

2011-02-08T13:42:00.004-06:00

Let me start off my saying, this is NOT a political post of any kind, nor do I intend a debate on any hot button political issue. What this post is about is how UNFAIR our health care system is for someone I love dearly.

So my last post was about my sweet and close friend Dayna who right now is battling a unknown illness that is affecting her entire life. Her illness is a complete mystery to everyone including her doctors. Dayna can not sit up, stand up, or lift her head higher than 20 degrees without passing out and while she is out she quits breathing all together, and I am describing this mild. You would think that doctors would be around her like they do on Grey's Anatomy and trying to find out what is wrong with our sweet girl. Never in a million years would you think that just because of insurance she would be discharged to her home with just a bed and a wheelchair, right! Wrong. That is EXACTLY what is happening. I am disgusted, angry and a bunch of other colorful words I rather not say on a family friendly blog.

This is the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA last time I checked, and every American deserves the right to be cared for. I really don't care if your Republican, Democrat or whatever, we can all agree that anyone with a medical emergency should be cared for. Dayna's mother, last week, had to hear that her daughter's doctors wanted and needed to keep her in the hospital for observation but couldn't because BLUE CROSS/BLUE SHIELDS decided that it was too expensive to keep her, so they sent her home by ambulance for her mother to take care of her. No monitors, no help, just a swift kick out the door and a "good luck to ya"! Never in my short 29 years of living have I been so appalled at the lack of care and concern from a company that is making MILLIONS of dollars each year. They crudely stated that "narcoleptic's get sent home every day", but see here is the problem, Mr. Insurance Company, Dayna has a unknown illness, you could be helping diagnose a new illness that could help someone else but instead you throw her out like day old milk and you claim to want to help people? I think not.

What's the point of insurance and paying premiums if all you get is half a** treatment and the boot? People say they want change nationally but how about we start with changing the policy's of insurance company's that care more about the bottom line then the health of our citizens. You sent home a very sick person, for her single mother to take home and care for. She can't be alone, she has to be monitored 24/7, so tell me how you expect her to do ALL that and hold a job to keep your dumb insurance? Are you going to pay for assistance? No, I didn't think so.

With all that said I am DAMN PROUD of her mother. She isn't a nurse and is taking care of her daughter better than the most high rated hospitals in this country. She is holding it together for her daughter and not stopping just because someone gave her a road block. She is studying about Dayna, finding new research and theories to help her daughter. I see now more than ever why Dayna is so strong and so beautiful, she gets it from a equally strong and beautiful person. Your a wonderful mother and I thank god daily for blessing me into your lives!

I will end by saying this, WE ARE AMERICA AND WE DESERVE BETTER, DAYNA DESERVES BETTER, SO DAMMIT GIVE HER BETTER!

Strength

2011-02-04T14:28:00.000-06:00

I will admit, I am a pretty strong person, I am a natural born leader and I am sure my husband would say that I am too hard headed for my own good. But, I do wonder sometimes if with any situation I could be as strong as I am. For the most part my life hasn't thrown too many test my way, lately I have found myself in situations that I have never faced before, like my mother dying. I think with everything that has been thrown my way, I have handled it with a strong backbone and kept myself together, but what if I was really challenged, I mean what if something was thrown my way that I couldn't deal with, how would I react??

We often don't put ourselves in other people's shoes, we don't have to test our abilities to handle situations until we are forced to. I think back to my mother's sudden death and I am amazed how the last 3 months have been. Her death has changed my life for sure but I was surprised how it didn't break me completely. There are days where I just think of her non stop and it's hard to breath but for the most part I am doing "okay", well, better than I expected. But how would I face my own strength when I pushed to the limit?

This brings me to my friend Dayna. Dayna is the true definition of sweet. She is kind to anyone she meets, you love her from the moment you meet her and the fact that she is a BOMB SHELL would make you want to hate her but you can't because she is truly that wonderful. Up till about a month ago she was living her life, she just won a big festival title here in Louisiana (and if you lived here you would know what a big deal it really is ..lol) and was gearing up for our version of Miss USA called Queen of Queens. She was also getting ready to travel to Washington DC for the annual Mardi Gras Ball which is one of the premier events to attend and the fact that she was able to go is a HUGE deal. Let's just say, she was getting ready for some GREAT adventures. Around Christmas she had a virus, shortly after she started having these "episodes" of fainting spells. They began to happen more and more frequent and she was staying under for longer periods of time, so she was admitted into the hospital and hasn't left since. 30 days have gone by and my friend can no longer walk, sit up in a bed, or even put her feet on the floor without passing out and sometimes all together stops breathing. And still with ALL that, she maintains a smile every time I see her. She jokes and laughs and I think to myself, I would be FALLING APART. I guess that's just the drama queen in me.. But her strength inspires me. Every time I see her I leave wanting to do better in my own life. I mean, if someone like her can get past her own pain just to crack a smile then what the hell do I have to be so bitchy for? I would like to think I am strong but it doesn't hold a candle to her and people like her.

Everyday someone somewhere is going through something big in their life, they aren't complaining, they surviving. The survive loss, sickness, tragedy and sometimes I complain that I have to get up at 5 am, when I should just be lucky to stand up on my own two feet. I use to think of myself as strong but if I am honest with myself, I am really not all that strong, but as I age and face challenges I know my strength will grow. I hope that my children see the people around them in their lives and grow stronger from the people they know, so that one day when they are faced with their own challenges they can be just like the Dayna's in the world, strong and beautiful.

Wordless Wednesday!

2011-02-02T15:46:00.000-06:00

So my Wordless Wednesday Post is somewhat cheesy so just try not to laugh .. My picture got the cover of our major magazine here in town about the way Facebook has changed our city .. (Yes is micro mini but I am proud! Can't you tell .. lol)

Products I Love!! Giveaway Time!!

2011-01-31T14:06:00.003-06:00

Since I have become a mom, I lean on other moms for advice, tips, pretty much everything, so when I come across things I use and love I share with my readers too! Since having my son 8 weeks ago and juggling work and my two year old toddler things are pretty crazy around our home. I found that I have no energy anymore and since I am breastfeeding I can't rely on energy drinks or anything to give me that boost. So when approached by the makers Intelligender to try some products I thought why not. One product that I couldn't wait to try was the "New Mom Rebalancing Drops". Basically you put drops into a little water and drink it 3 times a day and the product helps the rebalancing of hormone levels and for me another great thing was promote a healthy production of breast milk so I was eager to see if this would work. I will say, the taste is something you need to get use to, but the directions say you can add to juice if you like so there is a bonus. Just after one week of use, I feel a big difference. I am not as run down anymore, I felt like I was really "balancing" (no pun intended...lol) the baby along with everything else. There website gives this description " The first few weeks after your baby is home can be a period of wonderment and immense joy as you get to know your precious new addition. However, this can also be an overwhelming time, with little sleep and big routine adjustment – with utterly no time to stop and consider your new role. IntelliCeutical’s herbs have been used by women for centuries that desire to support a natural postnatal recovery and a swift return to normal after baby has been born." and I feel it does just that. You use the drops for 6 weeks which should be one bottle, but I can say that I plan on continuing the use after. I want to share these amazing drops with a lucky reader, and no you don't have to be a "new" mom to get the benefits! All you have to do is follow me on twitter @diaryofadivamom and Intelligender @Intelligender and post a comment below saying your following both and one reader will be drawn at random to win a FREE BOTTLE of New Mom Rebalancing Drops! Yes, that easy! Winner will be drawn THIS Sunday so make sure you follow today for your chance to win!!

Hello All Blizzard Blog Hop Peeps!

2011-01-27T09:35:00.001-06:00

So, I am so excited to be apart of this years Blizzard Blog Hop!! Let me take this time to introduce myself; my name is Kimberly and I am the words behind Diary of a Diva Mom. The idea of my blog came about when I was actually expecting my first child. My mother made a joke that I was way too much of a diva to have kids, soon after she made that little comment we found out we were having a girl so I knew this "diva" was in for it, because the next generation diva was soon on her way! And I was right. So my blog is all about my crazy life with her!! I am married to my best friend that drives me CRAZY for 3 and 1/2 years and we recently welcomed our second child, a little man, this past December. So sit back, sip on some coco and feel free to read more, and don't forget to leave a comment and maybe follow me for my future posts if you like!!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-26T10:35:00.000-06:00

If only this would last forever .. What are some sweet moments between your kids?

New Year? New Me? Maybe Not.

2011-01-20T13:01:00.000-06:00

So I know one of my 11 New Year's resolutions was to lose weight by my daughter's 3rd birthday, and right after New Year's I was doing really great but since then not so much. I mean don't get me wrong, I have done a baby boot camp class and I started eating better but nothing that I am sticking to. At first I was very proud that I had lost 12 pounds but now I am slowly gaining it back now that I returned to work.

The whole dieting process depresses me, seriously. I can't get into eating healthy 24/7 and I surely have NO time to work out with a newborn. Okay that's a lie, I do have time I just have no desire. Every part of me rebels when I suddenly get on a diet then I just feel worse after. I know I need to get healthy and I know I want to get in shape but if I am counting on myself to do it alone it will never happen. I am just at a loss of what to do, or I was. The other day I got a email from AOL about some promotions they were offering and one was a free 7 day trial for www.fitorbit.com so I decided to check it out.

The idea is simple, not everyone can afford a trainer and I am one of those people, and not everyone knows how to eat or workout properly, and again I am one of those people. So, you take a quiz and the system matches you up with your own personal trainer. The quiz gets really in depth, down to the foods and exercises I refuse to do, times I get up, eat and sleep, everything. The system then shows you 3 trainers that best match your needs and goals and you pick which one you want. About one day later you get a full week meal plan and exercises plan based on what you said you wanted from your workout routine. You get a full grocery list as well. Every day you log in and check off the food that you were scheduled to eat including snacks or you can modify your food if you changed it. It tracks all your calories you eat, tells you how to prepare the meals and it even offers a restaurant guide for foods similar in your area that you are suppose to eat at that time! It really takes the guess work out of everything!!

You can talk to your trainer at anytime by leaving a message and there is even a panic button for when you feel like your giving up. It really is a trainer at your fingertips. I love that I have a exercises to do that do not require equipment because I stated I did not have any and it gives me detailed instructions on how to do the exercises. I am in LOVE with this site. It can be pricey, you can choose to pay weekly, monthly or have a 6 month commitment, and so far I can see why I would join month to month and still come out MUCH cheaper than hiring someone at my local gym.

I rally like my trainer, she is a mom of two and she was where I am right now. Post baby and really out of shape, so I feel like she can relate to me. I actually started today so I am really excited to see what the end of my trail period if I have lost any weight at all. Even if it's a pound, every pound adds up! Check out the site if you want more info but so far I am really glad I joined up! Now it's sticking to it that will be the real test!! Until next time diva readers ..

Muah!

Disclaimer
**This is not a advertisement for fitorbit, this is strictly what I think of the site!! :)

Wonderful Giveaway!!

2011-01-13T14:31:00.000-06:00

Okay so I am the diva of all diva's .. before kids I had all the time in the world to do my makeup and hair to complete perfection. One two year old and one newborn later , yeah that part of my life has taken a backseat! Well when I saw this give away from Punk Rock Momma (http://punkrockmomma.com/2011/01/mommy-makeup-review-and-giveaway.html) I had to check out the product! The company is called Mommy Makeup, they have products to help us mom's always on the go look beautiful but in a quick way! Even if I don't win any free products I think I will check out their products, I mean after all if I can save time and still look good, I have to give it a try!! Visit Punk Rock Momma link (above) for more info on the giveaway!!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-12T21:07:00.000-06:00

So since I have failed to show off my little man I will post a pic of mini diva and little man just a few days after we got home .. Ignore my diva's messy hair, this was taken at 7 am .. lol

I just wish they stayed loving each other like this forever!

Oh The Flu .. Just Kill Me.

2011-01-11T14:44:00.000-06:00

Here I am 5 weeks into new mommy bliss! I mean could life be easier right now, first time breast feeding, no sleep, mountains of laundry and well a not so spotless house (gag me). In all seriousness things have been great, I am so glad I decided to breast feed and I wish I would have done it with the mini diva, it has been such a incredible experience with our son, not easy by no stretch of the imagination but so worth it.

On Saturday, I was just telling my husband how things were just getting back to normal and how on top of things I was feeling, (well I am still not out of my pj's yet but this is a work in progress people.) Then there it was the first cough, out of my little diva. Nothing to be alarmed about right? Half way through Saturday my little one was quite a handful, not out of the norm but she was just off. We had to run a few errands out of town and half way through the trip my daughter looked flushed, so I felt her head and putting it mildly I could have cooked bacon on it. She was sick. Great, we are locked in a car, a hour from home and she is siting next to her baby brother.

We get home and things went from bad to worse, 104 fever and she broke out in these ulcers all in her mouth and down her throat from the fevers. She was sick alright and she had been around her brother for most of the day. So to say I was worried is a understatement. Well one ER trip later on Sunday and confirming with her doctor my little diva had the diva of all sickness's .. The FLU. Just wonderful, I kept thinking this was the universes way of testing me with two kids. I just kept thinking, how am I going to do his while my husbands at work, I mean I have to keep two demanding kids apart, this wasn't going to be easy. And it hasn't been.

Two days into this, I am covered in vomit my hands are basically cracked open from so much germex, my house smells like a bad mix of lysol and bleach, I so don't have this under control. I am running from one room to feed one and running across the house to hose down the other, never before in my life did I believe in human cloning as much as I do now. How the HELL did my parents do this with 4 kids, I mean how does any parent do this with more than one child. I have a whole new respect for moms of multiple children and that is no joke. If this was my first test as a mommy of two I have failed, but at least now I can get a job as a janitor at my local hospital, I do have what it takes to sanitize! Seriously how do you moms do this??

The importance of mothers ..

2011-01-05T15:02:00.001-06:00

Since my mom died a month ago, I have been thinking a lot about her and the role she played in my life. It's so strange so many of us walk around day to day and never think about our moms and what they give to us and how they better and sometimes worsen our lives, until they aren't with us anymore. My mother and I had a very roller coaster relationship, the highs were high and the lows were low but she shaped me to be the person I am today, good and bad. I miss her, and to be honest up to the day she actually died I never thought I would really lose her, I mean she was like a cat with nine lives and no matter what life threw at her or what she threw at herself she bounced back like a tiger. I am like that in a lot of ways, in fact I think that is where I am the most like her I am strong willed, hard headed, very opinionated and I do things going at a speed of 200 miles per hour, all things my mother was. Sometimes I was embarrassed that she was my mom, but for the life of me right now I can't remember all the reasons. Damn I miss her. I have stayed awake lately mostly due to a newborn but 90% because all I can think about is her, I stare at my two kids while they sleep and I hate that they will never know who she is, only by stories and pictures, but never know her. My mother's role in my life I truly believe was to shape me to be strong a take no prisoners type of woman, and while growing up I wish I had the cookie cutter mom, the one that always hugged me and was my soft voice when I was hurting, and maybe for my other sisters she was that role for them, but for me she was the person who pushed to see how much I would push back and I hated that then, but I thank her so much for that now.

As much as I miss my mother and it's true I walk around with a half of me completely empty right now I have been so very lucky to have another person play a very different role in my life, my step mom. God it feels CRAZY to say step mom since I have been very young I haven't really called her that unless I am explaining her to people. My dad married my step mom when I was 2 so really she has been another bio mom to me. Now don't get me wrong there were times I thought I was the step kid and felt like it was a forced love but I think that’s normal when your young, now that I am older I see the real role she played in my life and how she shaped my life. I was not always easy on her and lord knows for a long time I didn't make her life easy by raising me, to sum it up, I was a little bitch as a kid. There I said it, and now she has it in writing (ha ha). She has always been a good woman, not the other woman like some people view their step moms. She as long as I can remember was the kind voice; she would step in when my dad and I would butt heads and be the voice of reason. She listened to thousands of hours of stories, from bad boyfriends, bad friends, teachers and more. She has bailed me out when she didn't have to, and sometimes when she shouldn't have. She was kind and loving to me no matter what, and sometimes she could have walked away. She held my hand while I cried and fought for me when I was wrong. She took me from a angry kid to the compassionate woman I am today. My mother taught me how to be strong and my step mom taught me how to love. I think I realized exactly her love when my mother died, she didn't have to be at that funeral, but she was for my sisters and I, to be there to hold our hand and help to pick up the pieces of our hearts that were shattered on the floor.

Again, we never think about the roles our mothers play, now I think about the role I want to play for my kids. Will I be there rock? There heart? Both? No matter what I have two mothers that guided me to this point with my own kids, and while I may not have always been proud of both my mothers growing up, I see them for the wonderful women they are today and I am damn proud to say I have two great moms. So what is your mother or mother’s role in your life? Have you thought about that? Are you a mother or even step mother? Do you think about what you leave behind to your children that have nothing to do with material possessions? Think about those things while you have the chance to tell someone how much their life made yours better...Even the not so perfect moms deserve to hear that, my mother did and I didn't do that, ever, this is my way today.

What's a mother to do?

2011-01-02T22:57:00.000-06:00

So I decided that my two year old is now to old for her "pippy" aka nu-nu, well I have been saying she has been too old since she turned two in June but I never stuck with it. I guess I wasn't ready just yet, I mean it was a sign that my baby girl was growing up and partly because her screaming for it was so damn annoying I would just give in, until yesterday. On a car ride I noticed mini diva was putting the pippy to the side in her mouth to talk, which tells me she knows she doesn't really need it, and truthfully she didn't. At her school she isn't allowed to have it, and that means that her nap times she doesn't have it, so why does she need it at home? SHE DOESN'T. So I just took it away, just like that cold turkey for both of us. And well so far so good, well kinda. My child has been acting so crazy today it is actually comical. I mean she is bouncing off the walls, talking a mile a minute to the point I can't understand her. I have tried so hard not to laugh but I can't help it, I mean you would swear I just took her off caffeine or drugs! If you don't believe its that bad, check out my little video, she was suppose to be in bed but this is what I got instead:

Yep mini diva is in full force tonight, so between the not sleeping with my newborn and well my very colorful child this will be a very long and interesting night. Wish me luck!

Happy New Year! Goodbye 2010!!

2011-01-01T22:24:00.001-06:00

Well it's another year .. another year has gone by, so many things about 2010 I could do without and so many things I could relive again and again. My major highlight this year was finding out I was expecting for a second time and much to my shock and my husbands HUGE joy we were having a boy! Our little joy came in early December and my heart was just full since. So this diva mom has just got one extra person to love! The lowest point for 2010 was the sudden passing of my mother. I am still in shock everyday. I miss her so much, but at the same time I am dealing with a lot of anger, disappointment, hurt and betrayal in the wake of her death... I don't think I am ready to deal with her death just yet, I am just trying to go with the flow.

So here's to hoping that 2011 is a year just full of joy and happiness, I think my family is due. And with 2011 finally here, I have made a list, yes a list of resolutions for the new year. In honor of 2011 I have 11 things I would like to full-fill by the end of the year. Here is my list:

1. Be at my goal weight by mini diva's 3rd birthday(JUNE).
2. Read a new book a month.
3. Get back to blogging.
4. Pick up a new hobby and stick with it.
5. Learn to cook.
6. be a "martha mom"
7. Back to church EVERY Sunday.
8. Seek peace with my moms passing. Get her final wishes sought out.
9. Dinners AT the table.
10. No TV/Cell phones and just family days.
11. Get mini diva potty trained!

So here's to a start of a great year!!! And you will be seeing well reading more about my life, so stay tuned!

Welcome to the roller coaster called my life ..

2010-12-20T18:54:00.000-06:00

What a few months it has been! Sorry I have been away, I have been in a real funk and I needed to snap out of it before I returned to blogging. A funk you say? Yeah and it's been pretty bad and here goes with me spilling it all out there for the world to read ..

Well, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving I got a phone call at work that changed my life forever. My little sister called me to let me know that they found my mother dead in her home. I still can't explain the knife gutting pain I felt that day and still feel to this day. I lost it. My mother had been battling her own personal demons for a long time, and I guess we all knew it would catch up to her one day, but I guess I just hoped she would always bounce back. There are so many things that run through my mind about my mothers death, alot of anger, sadness, overall feeling like I should have done more. The fact is that the last few years I couldn't deal with my mom's issues anymore, I wouldn't let my daughter around her because I didn't want my daughter to get attached to her the way she was. I always told her I would rather paint a picture of the mother she used to be instead of the woman she had become. Everytime I was around her I would get so damn mad, I hated that she drank, I hated that she let herself go and have people take advantage of her. I hated everything. What kills me is that the last time I spoke to her I yelled at her that I hated her. And that was the last words she ever heard me say. God I hate that. I really hate myself for just getting so angry with her, I should have told her I loved her more, I should have loved her more, I just couldn't. My biggest fear when I became a mother is that I would end up like her, she was self destructing right before my eyes and I couldn't do it anymore. Needless to say, I have a ton of regret, a ton of things left unsaid and it's eating me alive every single day. I hate now that she is gone people are still taking advantage of her death, it appalls me and angers me to the point of no return. I hate how she left me and my sisters to plan her funeral, to pick out a casket and lay her to rest, I never thought at 29 I would have to do that .. I wish I could make some sense of all of it but I can't, not to mention during the funeral I had to keep my emotions is check because I was just 36 weeks pregnant and my baby boy could come at any time and I was too far from home to let that happen. We laid my mother finally to rest on November 28th 2010. And I didn't smile after that day until ..

Exactly one week later on December 4th at 37 weeks, my water broke at home .. Boy what timing does my son have or what! We went from going cut down our family Christmas tree to driving 90 mph on the interstate to get to the hospital. I was admitted at 530 pm and the nurses told me the baby was on his way like it or not. I was so scared, I mean I was 3 weeks early, would he be ok? Would he be healthy enough? Well 11 hours on Sunday, December 5th later I found out, when I delivered my baby boy! He was 7lbs 12 oz and was as perfect as perfect can be! What was crazy is that he came exactly one week to the day when I buried my mother, I guess she and he knew better, I like to think he was a gift from my mother to help me smile again.

Now that little man is 2 weeks old we are getting into the groove of things, I forgot how crazy life gets when a newborn arrives, but I wouldn't change a thing!! I have been battling my emotions about my mother but I look at my kiddos and realize that I have reasons to live on, but I miss her and I wish I could talk to her again, I am living in a world of regrets but I know one day I will be okay but for now I keep praying and having faith that she knew how much I did love her and wished she was still here.

2010 Family Pictures

2010-11-18T21:34:00.000-06:00

So it's been some time now since we had some family photos taken .. Okay truth is we NEVER have had family pictures done, well not professional anyway. So I decided to take some family photos/mini diva photos/maternity pics taken. The photographer is Kimberly Ragusa, and I have to say she is AMAZING!! Here is just a sneak peek of the pics!! Enjoy!!

Scary Advice? Helpful Advice? Do I really need it?

2010-11-09T14:12:00.000-06:00

So with the roller coaster called my pregnancy I have been all over the map. To call this pregnancy normal would be a joke, it has been anything but normal. Well today should have come as no surprise that I once again found myself having issues. I have not felt the little man for a day or so, so at my checkup they hooked me to a stress test and everything came back okay. Now after my visit the doctor "checks" me to see if I am having and dilation. Sure enough I am. So he tells me that he feels that it could be any day now, and being almost 35 weeks he would not stop labor if it were to happen. He didn't seem concerned so why should I? Well I wasn't until facebook...

I am a sharing person, I put myself out there and I know what I say, my thoughts and everything that goes on in my life will be open for advice and comments. Well I put what the doc said on facebook and it man did it open for comments. Everything anyone said came from love and support I will tell you that. But telling me how he could contract RSV, lung issues among another long list of issues really got me worried. Where I was feeling fine about this, overwhelmed 100% but fine now has me thinking all these what ifs! Why didn't the doctor mention lung shots, RSV and all these things that can go wrong, why wasn't I warned?! He seemed okay and fine with it all .. Why is he so fine! Great now I am a nervous wreck! Which has me thinking .. is advice really helpful? I mean I welcome anyone's opinions, don't get me wrong, but is it hypocritical for me to not want to hear anything that could happen with my unborn son? Now I went from just worried about getting everything ready to now worrying that he could contract some disease and die! Man I need chocolate .. STAT!

So Many Updates ..

2010-11-08T12:20:00.000-06:00

Well first off thank you to those who haven't clicked the "unsubscribe" button after I have been away for so long. It's been a wild time for me and trust me I plan on updating today!! First order of business:

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yayy!!! The LAST birthday of my twenties and I have to say it just feels like any other day! lol .. I guess with everything going on I just kinda feel blah today. But I feel like I should celebrate it so I will!
So now on to the updates:
I know everyone is wondering how the pregnancy is going and its going okay. I am in my 8 month and drum roll: IT'S A BOY!!! Yes the diva is having a boy! I don't think that mini diva gets it just yet, but it will be interesting to see how she handles all this baby boy business when he is actually here. There are days where I think she gets it but others I am not so sure. So far the pregnancy has had some major rough spots, for a while there we thought we were not going to be able to save this pregnancy, but after a long road and LOTS of hospital visits we are on a smooth track. I wish I could say the same about my back pain and having trouble walking, but it's so worth it and I wouldn't have it any other way. My due date is Christmas Day but it looks like we are going to schedule a induction for the 21st so say lots of prayers!

On another note, I have changed not only jobs but I am back enrolled in school. Crazy how everything seems to change at not the exactly right time, but I am embracing it. So far I am loving the new job and well school is well, tough. Again, not exactly the right time for me to want to go back! lol

Well I am going to keep today's post short but I will be back on track like I was before! Thanks for sticking with me and all the emails and comments wondering how I was .. I missed my blogging family and its good to be home! :)

I'm back!!!

2010-10-27T11:27:00.000-05:00

After a much needed break, I am back ladies and gents!!! So much to update everyone on and I can't wait to get to it!! Tonight will be my official come back party with lots of updates, so please stay tuned! Thanks to The Frilly Coconut for the AMAZING new blog design!! So get ready for some updates and new stories all in my Diva Mommy fashion!!

My First VLOG! (Don't laugh)

2010-05-03T22:06:00.000-05:00

The Crazy Life .. Of my sister ..

2010-04-30T21:39:00.003-05:00

So as you have read, I am the middle child of a LOT of kids. (13 to be exact). My only real sibling, Ashley, is my younger sister, she is 26 and I am 28. We are as different as different can be. Growing up with her was not exactly what I would call fun. She was the baby and she got WAY to much attention (according to me of course), she was painfully shy, and I was more than outgoing. Growing up she was labeled the "mama". She took care of the animals, my younger siblings and I just went about my merry little way. Fast forward a few years and she is not married like me, and we are a lot closer than we were growing up. Keeping up with the little mama role, she now has 3 kids. I have only one child and another on the way, so my crazy kid stories are few and far between, my sister however has a TON, and this is the reason I come here today. **Please be aware you may pee yourself from reading this, and if you have sneaky kids you will relate.**

This is Olyvia, my sister's 3 year old VERY cute, VERY sneaky child. Beautiful little girl but her insides are well .. BAD TO THE CORE. She will do bad things and smile at you and you can't help but laugh and get over it. Yesterday well she might have gone over the line, you be the judge.

After a day at the zoo for a school field trip yesterday, my sister returned home with little Olyvia in tow. When they were in the house my sister, Ashley, smelled something of the #2 nature. She asked Olyvia if she went poo-poo and she said no. Well my sister checked her underwear and they were indeed clean but kept smelling the aweful smell. When she went into Olyvia's room what she found was, in a word, YUCK! My sweet god daughter had indeed went #2 in her pants, but tried to be a big girl, took off the dirty underwear and the poop got on the carpet. She tried to be a big girl and tried to clean it up by smearing it into the carpet. (Yes gross I know ..) My sister yelled out to my mom, both just completely grossed out but they began to clean it up. Once the little issue was gone my sister needed to go spray tan. Did I mention in 24 hours she would be welcoming guests into her home for her oldest daughters first communion .. yeah she was stressed.

She went into the bathroom to wash her face for her spray tan, and she grabbed for a towel to dry her face. As she rubbed the towel all over she noticed that stench again .. she opened her eyes to reveal that my beautiful god daughter, her cute daughter had apparently tried to clean the poop earlier with a rag and then stuffed the evidence back in the drawer, my sister screams out a shrill that could wake up the dead of "GROOOSSSSSS!!!!" and begins to jump up and down, tries to reach for another rag and that one was full of poop, another one, yep poop and another one .. Well, you get the idea. Five rags later she was covered in face poop and completely in melt down mode. My mother and, well anyone who hears this story, were in tears from laughter, including Olyvia, who insist that she did nothing wrong at all, and her smile will make you actually believe that!

Take that little sister .. You wanted a house full of kids and now you have them .. plus the poo. :)

Wordless Wednesday ..

2010-04-28T21:04:00.000-05:00

Look who is wearing high heels! Yep a diaper and high heels! Does it get any better? :)

Okay so I have been MIA ..

2010-04-27T22:09:00.000-05:00

Well dear readers I have been very much missing in action for like a week now. My schedule has been crazy busy and I have been not feeling like myself lately.

I had to work over this past weekend for a amazing festival called the Family Fun Fest. I was a true festival gal! I rolled up my sleeves and fried funnel cakes, pickles and even Oreo's!! It was just the husband and I and it was a ton of fun. The entire weekend it was non stop, but I was surrounded by some amazing best friends so I enjoyed every minute. While the weekend was fun I kept remembering how late I was, I mean not like 2 weeks or anything, more like 8 days and it was on my mind pretty heavy. With the car accident happening I just figured stress was a main factor and I decided to give it another week and if by the end I would take a test.

Sunday was our last day at the festival and by then I was tired and ready to go. I felt really sick but I just thought between no sleep and lots of cajun food that it was all getting to me. Mr. Diva offered to stop on the way home for a test just to see but I said no and we kept driving. By the time we got home I plopped down on the couch and rested. When it was dinner time, I ate a little and immediately felt sick, I knew then something was up and decided what the hell and sent Mr. Diva on his way for a pregnancy test. When he got home he told me that he really had been thinking about it and that he felt that if it was positive that he would be really excited, I on the other hand was feeling VERY different. I was not ready for another baby, mini diva is just going to be 2 in June, I started a new business, work was crazy and we were overloaded as it was. We said once mini diva was potty trained and her speech improved we would maybe start, like 2011 just not now. I think I hurt Mr. Diva's feelings a tad but I went off to pee on the magical stick .. And not 3 seconds this is what I get:

Yes ladies and gents I am pregnant! So what was my reaction? Well not good. I cried for a while and I know my Mr. Diva was not happy to see that reaction. I think I was very overwhelmed, scared ... pretty much every negative feeling. But after some time I got over it and happiness kicked in!

To understand my first reaction you have to understand my past .. My first husband and I had two miscarriages very late in pregnancy. One partial molar and the other is still not sure. So when I was pregnant with mini diva I stayed nervous and scared .. I drove my doctors and nurses nuts for 9 months. I was placed on progesterone with mini diva and this pregnancy is no different. Today I got the call after my blood work that while my hcg was very good my progesterone level were very low, so needless to say I am back on the progesterone pills and baby aspirin. So I am praying this baby decides to keep cooking and all will be well. So now on to the crazy news .. I am a little over 5 weeks and due CHRISTMAS DAY!! So say a prayer for us .. We really could use them!

Wordless Wednesday .. My Little Chef!

2010-04-21T21:58:00.003-05:00

Little Diva LOVES her new apron and chef hat!! So anyone need a good cook?

Is Honesty the Best Policy?

2010-04-20T23:13:00.001-05:00

So here's a honest fact about me, I am a VERY honest person. Almost too honest. No joke. I have to ask friends when they want my opinion, if they want a friend answer or my REAL answer. Most of time it's #1. Ha. Ha. So, don't ever ask me what I think, because good, bad or ugly I will tell you.(Well maybe not at my job, although sometimes I wish I could! That's the only time I can actually feel my head almost burst!!) I guess it comes from my dad, he is the KING of telling people what he thinks. He may just tell you without asking, but he tells you. Your probably wondering why I bring this up. Well 1. it's my blog (just kidding) and 2. Someone actually asked me the other day if I wanted little diva to be like me when she is older, and the answer to that question will always be YES. I think she should always be strong in what she does or what she thinks, I would rather people respect her for her truth than believe she is something she isn't. Truth be told, I like how upfront and honest I am. I can not stand fake people or liars and I proud myself on being neither. Now, I will never just walk up to someone who is wearing hideous outfit and let them know, probably not, well maybe, nah I wouldn't. But if you ask me what I think, yes you get what is my honest answer.
Your probably asking yourself a few questions reading this, and I will be honest ..

Do I think I am always right, No. (Just don't tell my husband, seriously.) But what is my opinion is my opinion. You may not always agree with what I say, but that's okay. (your probably wrong anyway ..lol)

Can I take when someone is honest with me? Absolutely. See reference to #1.

Do I think my opinion is the only one that matters. Yes. (See its my blog I can answer this however I want .. lol)

I wish more people would just say what they think. It's good for the soul. My friends or family may not always get it or get a little upset on what "I think" but they always know I am a upfront and honest person. Take it or leave it I will always be true to who I am. And I hope you take it! :)

So wanna ask me a question? lol

- Diva Mom

2010-04-16T22:23:00.000-05:00

HEY PARTY PEOPLE!!! Well the party is winding down, and I have to admit that I am very sad about this all ending. This was my first UBP and it has been one big fun chat fest! I have made some great friends along the way and I am now reading up on MANY blogs that I did not know about!! Thank you 5minutesformom.com for hosting this great party!! I can not wait till next year! So based on the wrap party instructions I am suppose to talk about three blogs that I found through the party that I never followed before .. Man this is hard! I LOVE like HUNDREDS of blogs out there! But here are three that I love:

1. Life Without Pink

2. Thanks, Mail Carrier

3. The Diaper Diaries

I am so happy that I have had the chance to visit THOUSANDS of blogs, participate in some great chats, meet new twitter-(ers) and hear from some great women! Thanks for following me (and if you aren't I mean why the heck not! ha ha ) and thanks for listening to my ramblings, this has truly been a blast!

So until next year .. Join me in song .. "Now its time to say goodbye .. To All our company .. BLO- (OH HOW I HAVE LOVED MEETING YOU!) GGE (Each of you have been a BLAST!) R (Are you coming back for a chat?) M-O-M-M-I-E-S!!!!

Cheesy I know. Leave me alone. HA!! HA!!

- Diva Mom :)

Since I have writers block ..

2010-04-16T00:25:00.000-05:00

Okay I have the case of writers block .. OR it may be from NO SLEEP last night .. I am going to share these pictures of me .. I hope it makes you chuckle. After you get a giggle, if your not a subscriber you need to sign up as one .. And if you are, well thanks for coming back! See I can make fun of myself! lol

My best Hannah Montana

Before the "surgery" ha ha ha

Stylish?

Pageant Ready? I don't think so .. lol

It was just announced I won .. And THAT ladies and gentlemen is a winning face! and 4 chins. hahaha

I take the BEST PICTURES with my mom and dad!

Shh! I lead a double life!

ME and Mini Diva

Rawr.

I was NOT picking his nose .. okay .. I was.. lol

Don't touch me lucky charms!

I hope you enjoyed my random-ness! Now you can see where my humor comes from!

You love me! You REALLY love me!

2010-04-14T23:51:00.002-05:00

The Honest Scrap Award

Thank you! Thank You! I want to thank all the mommy bloggers who got me here today!I don't know what to say but THANK YOU FOR THIS AWARD! (lol) I am humbled by the academy and I am so honored to have this Honest Scrap Award! Please leave your love for me in the comment section .. :) So thank you to Shannon, over at

http://ourgatorzone.blogspot.com/ for this honor! I will make you proud girl!

Fortunately, the rules for this award are simple, state 10 things about yourself then pass this award along to 10 fellow bloggers.

This shouldn't be hard since I LOVE to talk .. About me .. About Mini Diva .. About Me .. ha ha

So, Here goes...

1. I am a blog-a-holic. I have been to meetings (not really). I love talking and making new friends via blogs. I feel like I have girlfriends all over the country!

2. I am a pageant girl, and if I hear one crack about world peace .. well I might laugh. I am not your typical pageant girl, I eat (and eat well). I don't think I am better than anyone (well maybe some people .. lol) I was actually voted Miss Congeniality out of 84 contestants the year the movie Miss Congeniality came out! I got a ton of cards of the cover of the movie with Sandra Bullocks face cut out and mine put in that year!

3. I did not EVER want kids .. Now that I have a kid .. Well I am still not sure. J/J I really don't know how I ever thought I didn't want to be a mom.

4. I am ONE of 13 kids. Let me explain. My parents are divorced and remarried .. So the 13 is a mix of real, step and half brothers and sisters. I didn't want you to think we were a family like 18 kids and counting!

5. I can not decorate and I am not crafty. Or organized or a neat freak. I need some help.

6. I LOVE Coca-Cola! I know its bad for me .. and probably a good reason I can't lose weight .. But I drink like 4 or 5 a day.

7. I LOVE the beach. I hate the ocean.

8. I am a HUGE advocate of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, and I think you need to donate some money RIGHT NOW to my cause. www.cff.org. Just sayin.

9. I married my high-school sweetheart and we divorced 2 years later. And yes, my parents warned me. I was 21 and dumb. I married my TRUE prince charming 3 years later.

10. I have never .. and will never get on a plane. If its not in driving distance .. well oh-well.

Now the time has come for me to share
A little bloggy love to show I care
It's an award sent just for you
Because I really enjoy what you do!

Check out these fabulous blogs:

Confessions of a Semi-Slacker Mom

LizzieBTV

Because Miracles Happen

Just My Blog

Thanks, Mail Carrier

Tales From the Motherhood

** I wish I could name the other like 300 blogs I read almost daily (no joke).**

Thanks Again Shannon for this award!

Wordless Wednesday (with captions) UBP10!!

2010-04-13T23:53:00.000-05:00

The Night My Husband Proposed (It was Halloween Night!)

Our First Family Photo .. I look HOT! (lmao!)

My daughters first LSU tee--Sorry Bama Fans .. ha ha

Her first pageant photo .. umm beautiful much?

My First Mother's Day ..

Our First New Home

Mini Diva's First Birthday Cake!

http://workingmommyof1.blogspot.com/ "You will not find more than 10 blogs with crying children, because we are all perfect mothers." Here is number 11 .. First of MANY MELTDOWNS! lol

MY FIRST WORDLESS WEDNESDAY OF FIRST'S!

Modern Mom?

2010-04-12T23:48:00.000-05:00

So this is a blog I wanted to write for some time now. While shopping the other day, I called my husband to check to see if he picked up our daughter from daycare, I was in line to check out so I chatted for a few seconds and hung up. A elderly lady behind me said in a not so mumble voice where I could hear her "I will never understand those modern mothers." I couldn't help myself. I turned around to ask her what she meant by modern mom, because I did not know if I should be flattered or insulted? She basically told me that she never saw a mother having to check in with her husband for the kids, that when she was having kids ( I am guessing in 1801 .. just kidding) that the mother stayed with the kids and the husband came home to a wife and kids, food cooked .. you get the idea. While I explained that I worked full time and so did my husband, and we juggle who gets the baby day to day, her eyes got wider and wider. She could not wrap her head around the fact that I am a working mother. (Is this not 2010?) Guessing I was getting no where, and I probably just ruined the last century of her life, I got my groceries and moved on.

On the drive home I started thinking about what this lady just called me, a Modern Mom. What is a Modern Mom anyway? What is funny is that I could not find a definition anywhere that states the exact definition of a modern mom. The more I thought about it, the more I started thinking how for some time now society pits stay at home moms against working mothers. I mean think about it, most news stories about the "new" family have both sides saying that one side is better than the other. But I don't think that way, I don't think a stay at home mom is better than me, and vice versa. I would like to think that all moms are modern moms, yes I have a full time job, but raising kids is a job too! And sure, I have my days where I wish I could stay home with my mini diva, and I am sure stay at home moms wish sometimes they could go to a office somedays. At the end of the day we all work very hard, so to this diva mom, I would raise a toast to all moms .. we are all DIVA MOMS, the NEW MODERN MOM!
What are your thoughts? Give me some diva feedback below ..

Until tomorrow Diva's ..
Night Ya'll!

Wow! What a Weekend!

2010-04-11T23:34:00.001-05:00

Hey Ya'll!! I want to first say hello to all my new followers and visitors from the Ultimate Blog Party!! What's Up Party People!! The Ultimate Blog Party by 5minutesformom.com has been a blast, and we still have some partying to do! So thank you again for all the comments and I hope that this keeps you coming back for more!

So on to my weekend from well, HELL. I was actually excited about this weekend, I had boat loads planned and I was looking forward to the many events we were prepared to do. But that all ended quickly on Saturday morning. I was invited to judge the Miss Louisiana Crawfish Queen's Pageant, I know, very Louisiana right! With my husband and his best friend in tow, we headed down to Chalmette, La (near New Orleans). We jammed out to 80's music on the satellite radio and were having a ball, until a car decided to merge into our lane a BAM! collide with my jeep. I screamed as we started to lose control and the other car went flying into the air. Now I was scared for multiple reasons, 1. We were just hit and I did not know what to expect when I got out of the car. 2. We were not in the safest of neighborhoods in New Orleans. To top it off I was EXTREMELY mad for one selfish reason alone, my husband was involved in a head on collision not a month ago, and my car was not a month old. When the police arrived I was in melt down mode, everything hit me all at once, but I am glad to say that we are all okay, mini diva was not with us but we will be without a car for a little while, and I made it to judge the pageant. When I arrived home late last night, I was so tired I could barely walk. But here is a beautiful picture of the new queens .. (picked by me so you KNOW they was good!)

This morning I woke up sore and still so tired, the days events I had planned were quickly cancelled and my wonderful Mr. Diva let me sleep in till 10 am. Determined not to let yesterdays events completely ruin my day, I decided that when mini diva came home from visiting her grannies house, we were having a Sunday Funday, which was exactly what we needed. Today, while I watched mini diva play in the sprinklers and run around screaming, I realized that some things are not so important in life, just mere inconveniences, and what truly matters is the people you love and having them surround you make life so wonderful. So it was not the weekend I planned for, but after today I still can say it ended with a smile on my face. So, until next time, night ya'll!

**Please note, all obscenities I screamed during and after our wreck were omitted, because this is a family friendly blog, and it's just not the diva way .. ha ha **

It's a DIVA PARTY!

2010-04-09T12:06:00.001-05:00

Hello and welcome to the Ultimate Blog Party 2010!! Break out the bubbly and your sexiest dress (or comfy pj's) and have a seat! So I started my party yesterday a little early, because that's just how diva's do it! Okay maybe not but still! The response has been overwhelming and so much fun, I have had the opportunity to read on some new blogs and twitter accounts and I have been getting the love in return, and its just getting started!!

So I did a pretty basic hello yesterday and you can read below so I wanted to really introduce the reasons my blogs exisit! I am a new mom and wife and I blog about everything from juggling work, my mini diva, and my very wonderful (well sometimes ha ha) husband. I love writing about things I love and places I go, and if you stick around you might get a chuckle or two .. ha ha .. I would love to be able to have a big girl blog one day, with lots of bloggers and stuff to give away .. And who knows after this party I might graduate from new blogger to DIVA BLOGGER .. ha ha ..

So like I said, I am a 28 year old mother to a beautiful two year old, Addison. She is what I call my mini diva, looks of her father personality to the MAX of me. She keeps me laughing and growing grey hair. In all my years of pageants I came across many mini divas .. until Addison was born. She makes them look like kittens. But I love her attitude, her love of dance and doing really funny things all day long, and no matter what, I wouldn't have it any other way .. So ladies and gentlemen this is Addison ..

Cute huh!

My husband Borron and I have been married for almost 3 years now .. We met and married all within ONE YEAR .. CRAZY HUH!!! Yeah to me too .. But if you know me you know that I am a cynic .. When he met me I was ALL ABOUT ME .. (hence DIVA MOM). I was into my career, having fun and traveling all over, I did not want a relationship. But after one date, I knew he was the last of a dying breed of men. Caring, romantic and literally he would do anything for anyone, and let's face it here, of he can put up with me and all my diva ways then I KNEW I had to marry this man! After we got married in July of 08 we found out we were expecting! By June of 09 Addison was in full force and we became parents. He is a only child so life with his family is umm well interesting. lol I come a HUGE family where I am in the middle so to say we have our fun moments of trying to figure out this whole parenting role thing is interesting. But as you read my blogs to come you will see what I am talking about. So here he is ladies and gents MY PRINCE CHARMING (or as I like to refer to him, Mr. Diva .. ha ha he hates that!)

Let the ohhh and ahhh's begin!

So thats be in a nut shell .. My family .. and all our glory .. Just a little Louisiana family on DIVA mode! .. read more about me and why I am a Diva Mom below .. And yall come back now!

** Oh and my wish list for PRIZES is below too!!** :) I like winning!

Don't be Tardy for the Party!! Ultimate Blog Party 2010!

2010-04-08T20:44:00.005-05:00

Hey Party Mommas! It is the 5 Minutes for Mom Ultimate Blog Party 2010! Everyone is invited to participate, but you must hurry, there is only 1 days left! I am just starting a blog – Diary of a Diva Mom, so it is still new and I am still learning the ropes, but I am still excited to be apart of the Ultimate Blog Party!
Tell your friends, spread the word, let’s end this party with a BANG!!!!
Since we may not have met yet or maybe I just like talking about myself (nah, well maybe just a little..lol), I will give you some details about myself:
My name is Kimberly, I am a mommy to one little girl that will be two this June. I am a newbie blogger, but am loving it already! I live in Louisiana, born and raised a true southern diva. I am new to a lot of things really, shortly after my husband and I got married we found out we were pregnant! So I am still adjusting to life as a wife and mom! I am a Events Specialist for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, a cause I am VERY passionate about and not just because it's my job.

So why am I a diva mom? So let's see .. Back before I was married and I was a mommy, I lead a very FUN life! I loved to travel, I loved the best clothes, trends, you name it! If it was fresh and new I wanted it, not to mention I was and am a born sales person, I can talk anyone into anything! :) I lived for me for such a long time, and it was fun while it lasted!

But now I am a mommy to a BEAUTIFUL two year old who is turning out to be a little diva herself, in all the right ways, she most of all has my HUGE heart and is so loving .. and I am proud to call her my mini diva!
My blog is all about my daily life and things I love .. hence the name, Diary of a Diva Mom .. :)

There are so many cool prizes to be won at this year’s Ultimate Blog Party, so here is a list of my favorite things that I hope to win!

11 – A $100 gift eCertificate to Restaurant.com, immediately redeemable online at over 13,000 restaurants nationwide.
Provided by: Amy LeForge of Earnest Parenting
Follow here: EarnestOne or Visit Our Fan Page: Earnest Parenting

16 – A custom-made tutu for a baby or little girl. This can be made in any color combination you like (classic pink or your favorite team colors). Tutus made by Sweet Patootie’s are the fluffiest little girl tutus you’ll find – like a REAL ballerina’s tutu! Great for costumes OR everyday play!

Provided by: Sweet Patootie’s via Peachy Keen

18 – Goodie Basket for Mom, includes health and beauty items for mom and kids. $5 gift card to Wal-Mart, Softlips Pomegranate Lip Balm, Moments for Mothers, Thoughtful Reflections to Warm Her Heart book by Robert Strand, 20 Sheets of Glossy Photo Paper, EcoTools earth-friendly beauty Intensive Hand Cream, Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred Workout DVD, Peaceful Waters Relaxation DVD, Tantric Toning Workout DVD with Stephanie de Phillipo, Magnetic Babysitter Checklist, The Flavor Point Diet book by Dr. David L. Katz, Photo Album that holds 80 photos and a Beautiful decorative Wood Chip Basket. Estimated retail value of prize $50.
Provided by: Healthy Moms – The Number One Health Blog for Moms
Follow here: cltalbert or Visit Our Fan Page: Healthy Moms

19 – Prize package of preschool toys! KOTA & PALS HATCHLINGS – (PLAYSKOOL/Ages 3 years & up/Approx. Retail Price: $14.99), TONKA CHUCK & FRIENDS CHUCK MY TALKING TRUCK (TONKA/Ages 3 years & up/Approx. Retail Price: $34.99), PLAY-DOH Coco-Nutty Monkey (Ages 3 years & up/Approx. Retail Price: $12.99), PLAY-DOH MINI BUCKET (Ages 3 years & up/Approx. Retail Price: $4.99)
Provided by: Hasbro
Follow here: playskool or Visit Our Fan Page: Playskool

22 – One winner will receive a fun Beach themed gift basket filled with an assortment of hair bows and clippies from ribbonrockstar hairbows. (Prize Value: $50)
Provided by: Ribbon RockStar bows
Follow here: trendytykes

32 – $25 Target Gift Card!
Provided by: The Frugal Novice
Follow here: Frugal Novice or Visit Our Fan Page: Frugal Novice

39 -Be My Guest certificate ($250 value) for one lucky winner, (2 night stay for a family of four) at any Hilton Garden Inn.
Provided by: Hilton Garden Inn
Follow here: bloggin2noggin

40- One winner will receive a 3 day 2 night stay from Holiday Inn Main Gate East in Kissimmee, FL (less than 2 miles from Disney World) a value of $250.
Provided by: Holiday Inn Main Gate
Follow here: bloggin2noggin

47 – Muffintop Mama, a site dedicated to mamas and fitness, is giving away Muffintop Mama attire to one winner: Simple tanks to help you sweat!
Provided by: Muffintop Mama
Follow here: muffintop_mama or Visit Our Fan Page: Muffin Top Mama

48 – New Momma Prize Package from the Pampered Chef including the Must Have Quick-Stir Pitcher and Twixit! Clips valued at over $30!
Provided by: Shelby Michalek

49 – $25 gift card to Starbucks
Provided by: Janice Yurek

50 – Win a $50 Gift Certificate to Froggy Girl Designs!
Provided by: Froggy Girl Designs
Follow here: froggygirletsy or Visit Our Fan Page: Froggy Girl Designs

56 – 12″ x 24″ Custom, hand~painted gallery style canvas for baby nursery or kid’s room {to be coordinated with winner’s bedding/decor} for one winner, see samples here!
Provided by: October Belle Designs LLC
Follow here: OctBelleDesigns or Visit Our Fan Page: October Belle Designs, LLC

57 -A beginners yoga kit that is light blue and includes a mat, DVD, Yoga Hemp strap, and block.
Provided by: Truth Be Told Blog
Follow here: TruthBeToldBlog or Visit Our Fan Page: Truth Be Told Blog

61 – Win a $25 e-gift certificate to Toys-R-Us
Provided by: Faith@FrugallyFabulousMom
Follow here: FrugFabMom or Visit Our Fan Page: Frugally Fabulous Mom

69 – The Itty-Bitty Bookworm is a literature-based preschool curriculum. One winner will receive a year of our Bo Curriculum for 3-5 year olds. One winner will receive a year of our Bailey Curriculum for 18-36 month olds.
Provided by: The Itty-Bitty Bookworm
Follow here: BittyBookworm

71 – A $50 Bear Bucks Card to Build A Bear Workshop.
Provided by: Liza Schwab
Follow here: mamaschwab

72 – Your Shape for Nintendo Wii A fitness video game featuring Jenny McCarthy Comes with a motion tracking camera! All for one lucky winner!
Provided by: Kristie’s List
Follow here: KristiesList

76 – One Sentimental Silver personalized “Silver Sweethearts” necklace. Necklace will be customized with two names or words to be selected by the winner.
Provided by: Sentimental Silver Jewelry
Visit Our Fan Page: Sentimental Silver

77 – 5 winners will be gifted with Baby Banz Sunglasses and UV Sun Hat Combo set with Sunscreen.
Provided by: Baby Banz, Inc.
Follow here: babybanz or Visit Our Fan Page: Baby Banz

83 – Disney Mickey 5-in-1 Tasty Baker by Pop Art. An all in one table top appliance that bakes pancakes, cakes, quickbreads, biscuits and donuts and more into 6 bite sized shapes (Mickey mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, Goofy and Pluto) in about one-third the time. It can even cook eggs.
Provided by: Pop Art Toaster
Follow here: poparttoaster or Visit Our Fan Page: Pop Art Toaster

95 – $100 Gift Certificate to Restaurant.com – Choose from over 13,000 restaurants nationwide – redeem online and print your gift certificate(s).
Provided by: Thrifty Jinxy
Follow here: ThriftyJinxy or Visit Our Fan Page: Thrifty Jinxy

But I would like anything for a two year old girl or something to make mommy smile :)

Keep the Party Going and I Look forward to chatting with you soon!!

AND YOU GET A CAR! AND YOU GET A CAR!

2010-04-06T23:05:00.001-05:00

Okay maybe not. So I am no Oprah, (duh!) but I am like a lot of moms, I rely on tips, suggestions and advice about everything from clothing, beauty products, newest sites, well you name it and I have heard it all! I am always about looking for the newest thing for my self or mini diva. If you would have asked me 3 years ago some of my favorite things, this list would be WAY different.. but that was then (and 40 pounds ago! ha ha )

So instead of asking around, or googling everything under the sun, I have complied some of my favorite things that I think you should check out. These sites and items are things I would tell my best friend, so feel special. (and if you hate them, well let's keep that between diva's shall we?)

1. Clothing for kiddos (THE BEE'S KNEES) .. Last week I told you about a great online boutique called cuppycake, and I am SURE you loved it all (and still do) .. well this is another place I LOVE to shop for my little diva, the prices are amazing and the selection is perfection! Boys and Girls Clothing, plus toys and more, you name it they have it! Check out THE BEE'S KNEES for yourself!!!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Denham-Springs-LA/The-Bees-Knees/192569937581?ref=ts

2. Okay who is NOT on a budget right now?? As moms we are always searching for the best deals, we search through EVERYTHING newspapers, magazines, online .. Well search NO MORE .. The Coupon Queen has all the best listing for all those savings! How can you not love it! Check her out on facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Coupon-Queen/152626511528?ref=ts

3. The Mama Drama Blog .. okay this is a must read blog! For moms, step moms, non moms, heck men! Sam puts on a great humor about her daily life "And those kids who call her mom". I enjoy reading her entries and I think you will too!

http://mcniffbits.blogspot.com/

4. So as many moms know its sooo hard to actually BE SEXY after kids, I mean you barely have time to sleep much less romance your better half! But as most studies will tell you, you NEED romance, ( I know I know yea right!) but it's true. So if you want to put a little SPICE back in your love life you have to look and feel beautiful. This is why I recommend Fleur de Lace (cute name right!) I actually know the store owner, and she is all about giving women of all sizes variety to help you look and feel beautiful! Check out her website yourself!

http://www.fleurdelace.com

So there you have it! From the best kids clothes to sexy clothing for your better half, these are my top 4 picks of the week! Explore and Enjoy!!

Until tomorrow all my beautiful diva readers .. !!

*If you have a item or website you would like me to blog about, email me at divamommy09@aol.com *

Magical Day

2010-04-04T22:29:00.001-05:00

Happy Easter Everyone!! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday with the people you love, and no matter your religion or culture today is a day of celebration of life and rejoicing, so I hope everyone had a great day for that. Today was a great day, the little diva had a great day with the Easter Bunny passing and leaving her some yummy goodies to eat and play with, and the day was also spent with my mom's side of the family 3 hours away, and was well worth the drive.

This was little diva's second Easter and it was very special. This was a year of FIRSTS however, a first Easter egg hunt, her first Easter egg dying and her first Easter with her cousins from my side of the family. It was a beautiful day. After a long day we headed home to find our true Easter treat ...

On the way home Addi fell fast asleep because well she has NO nap all day and Easter pooped little one OUT! So when we arrived home I told my husband that I thought it would be a good idea to play outside for a while since it was still a beautiful day out. And to get her good and tired for bed time. So, we grabbed the bubbles, the bubble gun and sidewalk chalk and headed outside. As we were playing some of the neighbors children started chasing our bubbles and playing near our house, after about 20 mins our little crowd of bubble fans grew and we were having a ball and so was Addi.

One of our neighbors sons was over chasing bubbles and I noticed his little sister outside watching us, she is absolutely the most precious little girl I know. Shortly after they moved into the neighborhood we learned that she was sick, so sick in fact that she was diagnosed with leukemia. Not to long ago she started losing her beautiful blonde hair from the chemo. I don't get the opportunity to see her or her parents often because they have been in and out of the hospital so much, until this very afternoon.

So while her brother played with us in our yard, chasing bubbles, I saw his little sister watching us. She is bald now, with just a little hair left, but still so beautiful. So I told her little brother to see if it's okay for her to come over and sure enough she could. She is very shy, and you can tell she thinks the world of her big brother because she was attached at the hip with him for a while. He would chase bubbles and she hardly moved, I think all the running around kinda made her nervous. So I sat by her in the grass blowing bubbles and trying to get her to talk, but nothing.

I noticed she was wearing a tinkerbell night shirt with beautiful colorful material that flowed, she looked like a little princess. So to help break the ice and hopefully make her smile, I ran inside and grabbed one of little diva's pageant crowns and sat it by her and said whenever she wanted to wear it I would put it on for her. So now I was her new best friend, because she didn't leave my side after that.

I tried everything to make her smile, nothing was working, so I decided to point the bubbles at her instead away from her, thats when the magic happened, her face brightened with a BIG smile as she batted away bubbles from her face. She would put her hand in front of the bubble gun to get the bubbles to hit her hands and she would giggle. When I turned around I saw her mom and dad watching her and smiling, and that made my year. I glanced over at my own little princess laughing at everything and chasing the other kids and then looked back at my new little friend with that same innocent smile and at that moment I realized what life is all about. Even at the most scariest times in someone's life battling a disease that she doesn't understand she was just being a little girl, carefree and fun, which is something we all take for granted everyday.

Sometimes the most simple pleasures from life are so quickly missed for something HUGE or BETTER, but nothing is better than just blowing bubbles in the wind ..

So tomorrow, my new little friend will be back at the doctor with my magic bubble gun, and prncess crown, and I hope it makes her day just as much as it did today.

I can honestly say that today was amazing day, and I soon won't forget it.

I can relate to a celebrity?

2010-04-01T22:48:00.000-05:00

Okay so I am a little obsessed with Kendra from the Girls Next Door show on E!, I think she is very funny and I enjoy watching her new life as a wife and mother unfold. Her new season is showing her new life as a new mom, I think it's pretty gutsy to show that side of you on national television when you are a sex symbol for so long. Her last few episodes really hit home for me, its all about her struggle with losing the baby weight and feeling sexy again. Before I got married and had my daughter I was a full on diva, late nights, fun parties, and I looked GOOD .. and I am not saying skinny always equals pretty, but for the majority of my life I was a healthy weight at 5"8 and I always felt beautiful, until now. The episode when Kendra's friends came over for the first time really hit home, she was crying about how she looked so different from her playboy friends, and how she used to be that fit and sexy woman and she just didn't feel that way anymore, and I can relate. My daughters two year old birthday is coming up soon and I hate how I look and feel two years later. Sure it was okay at first when people said give it time but now its two years later and the time has passed. I have yoyo'd like crazy on diets, then not on diets and I am done with it all. Yesterday I went see my doctor about how I have been feeling and to seek advise, well when it was time for me to get on that scale the advise was clear, I am overweight and well truth be told at the weight I was when Addison was just a few weeks old, not acceptable.

On my way home from the doctor I called my husband, like a crying mess I was I sobbed through how I was feeling and how I just couldn't do this anymore. My weight has always bothered me since my daughter was born, but seeing those numbers on that scale down right scared me. I am not going to lie, a HUGE part of me wants to lose weight for my own selfish vanity reasons, but another part is because I want to be a good healthy example for my daughter and our children to come. My husband being the supportive rock that he is, assured me that I was beautiful but offered his help in anyway he could.

So today I woke up a new woman, I ate a light breakfast, a great and healthy lunch and went for a mile walk this afternoon when I got home. So its a start for a long way to go.

I know I have to have a goal, so here I go, my husband and I are going to Destin, Florida on June 1st. That is exactly 60 days from today. Realistically I want and need to lose 20-30 lbs to be comfortable by then, its going to take alot of work and a ton of support, so if any of my readers are on diets and on a weight loss plan, email me up at divamommy09@aol.com we can be each other cheerleaders and support each other through the process!

Together we will all get back to our diva sexy selves!! Who's with me??

So who's the bigger diva?

2010-03-31T23:05:00.000-05:00

Man oh man! The terrible two's are in FULL SWING ladies and gentleman, and now it's the battle of the diva's in my home! Mommy vs. Addi, so who's winning? She is. Last night we were invited to dinner with my little diva to our friends from church's home. What started simple enough, pick her up, drive home, then off to dinner, failed miserably when on our way home we encountered 3 hour long traffic due to a chemical fire near my home. I started getting that feeling that little missy was not enjoying yo gabba gabba when the whining set in, but we made it home with very little problems and I thought we would be okay. Yeah Right!

As soon as we arrived at our friends home, Addi began playing with their two older children, when it was time to go inside, Addi had better plans...She wanted NO part of the inside fun, she was determined to stay outside where she was happy, so there started fight #1.

Fight #2 began when she decided that jumping on their living room furniture would and running inside like a crazy person would be her new sport. When I tried to get her to calm down a little and use the inside voice god gave her .. ended fight #2 but began fight #3 .. (did I mention we were only there 45 mins so far)

After time out was done, I was exhausted, long drive now cranky kid is making a VERY cranky mommy, but I tried to relax a bit because rarely do we get the opportunity to get out and see friends with our schedules, and now I see why.

As soon as we sat down to dinner, not only was little diva NOT wanting to eat, but she thought standing and trying to stand on the chair then DIVE off would be fun .. That began fight #4, #5, and #6.

I finally gave up and let her run around while we all tried to eat and chat, but that was soon over when Addison began to SCREAM at the top of her lungs .. Thats when I suddenly thought for a moment "WHO IN THE HELL'S KID IS THIS AND WHERE DID MY CHILD GO!" I am so serious, I literally got up and she walked right over to the time out spot she was visiting more than playing. We tried movies, we tried everything, and just as she got quiet and we could chat with our friends, their daughter peeked around crying because my child apparently smacked her with a book in the back. I was mortified. At that point it was my cue that this dinner evening was over and we needed to go home, and in true diva fashion as soon as she got in the car the perfect angel emerged and all was right with the world and I was left baffled, tired and a little annoyed .. okay alot annoyed and angry.

But NOTHING topped today. When my daughter got home from daycare I was there to greet her, not only did she slap me, but when I tried to correct her she had a WORLD CLASS MELT DOWN. No joke, she was so hysterical that she threw up ... on me. I had to walk out of the room and get my husband to take over and when she finally settled down, all I could do is stare at her and try to remember the days I wanted to badly for her to walk, talk and be mobile, this current mom is slapping that new mom in the face right now. Even as I sit here and write this I am exhausted, and so dumb founded how she changed so quick over night and I am wondering when horrible diva is leaving again so my sweet baby girl will return?

So tonight I am tired and beat down, and if your keeping score at home its
Mini Diva 1 - Mommy Diva - 0

This diva is out for the count ..

In my DIVA opinion ..

2010-03-29T22:36:00.001-05:00

So I am wanting to stay focused on my reviews so here we go!

Cuppy Cake Designs

This online store is amazing .. I was not asked to write about her and her amazing creations, I am actually a repeat customer and I LOVE her work!

The clothing is all handmade but absolutely perfect! The pricing is affordable and the clothing is trendy! Best part about the site is that she makes clothing for BOYS and GIRLS .. Check it out for yourselves!

http://www.cuppycakeboutique.com

Terrible 2's!

2010-03-29T22:02:00.000-05:00

It started off so perfect .. but ...

So today I was lucky to have the day off, so I decided to have a mommy and Addi day! Good idea in retrospect, but not so much now. The day started off well enough, Addi and I got up, made a big girl breakfast and played till noon. My little diva had a good nap and then we were off for a diva day!
We had lunch with Addison's nan and my boss, and my hubby, at first Addison was NOT liking this whole waiting thing and became a little fussy but soon after we got our table and had a nice lunch, then it was off to the mall to meet the Easter Bunny!

I know some people think it's strange but I have one of those "leashes" for kids, now I know it looks odd to some people and it becomes a joke, but a little diva who HATES a stroller its a god send and I have no worries about her running off, by the time we got to the bunny she was ready to go! After a good picture it was off to Build a Bear .. there is when the trouble started. At first she was all excited about her new toy and then BAM, the horns came out! She began to whine and stomp around, at first I thought it was because she wanted to walk around, so when we began to walk out her attitude got worse, until it was a blown out crazy fit! She laid on the mall floor kicked and screamed .. I literally was breaking out into a sweat trying to get her up off the floor for her just to do it all over again! Nothing made her happy, not her sippy cup,, passie, toys, threats, NOTHING! She just wanted to be bad and thats it. So after being humiliated at the mall because I looked like that mom with that kid, we left. So we headed to McDonalds, because I was trying to salvage mommy and Addi day. Nope. Not a chance.

So here's my question, how do moms keep their sanity and raise a 2 year old with out going NUTS. I fear this is the beginning of some BAD behavior and I am scared that they don;t make enough wine for me to deal with it. So to all you experienced moms .. how do you deal?

Man this mommy is tired .. the little diva kicked the big diva in the rear today!

Mud Bug Madness!

2010-03-28T18:41:00.001-05:00

Okay, I super LOVE being a Louisiana girl! I mean from the food, music and down home hospitality, it's truly something that can not be matched anywhere. As a festival queen I am able to travel all over our great state to some unique places and meet new people and experience their cultures in a way that most people that even live here are never able to do. So yesterday the hubby, and mini diva packed up with one of my husbands best friends and headed down to Chalmette, La to the Louisiana Crawfish Festival!

Last year was my first year to attend the La. Crawfish Festival and I can tell you that it left me wanting more. The food was amazing and the organizers of the event are pretty wonderful, so to say I was excited about going back is a understatement.
When we arrived I was immediately given the royal treatment, people not from this area LOVE seeing a girl with a crown on her head so I always get asked to take pictures with their family or friends. I actually love the attention, it makes me feel happy to know people take interest of who you are, its like being a celebrity for a nano second, they even love how my little diva is a queen too .. and trust me she loves the attention too. After a on stage introduction we were whisked to the food area .. YUMMY! Of course we had everything crawfish .. crawfish bread, fried crawfish and of course my favorite BOILED CRAWFISH! My little diva's reaction to her first crawfish was quite funny .. She thought they were cute creatures but after 5 seconds wanted NO part of the Louisiana mud bug ..

This festival had everything you could want, great food, amazing music and well something we all enjoyed, FAIR RIDES!!! My hubby along with our little diva and our friends enjoyed some pretty fun rides, I don't care how old I get I am NEVER to old for the scrambler!

It was a amazing fun day with my family and friends, I am so honored to be able to travel this state and see my culture the way it should be, I mean after-all how are you able to enjoy anything abroad if you don't know the beauty of where you live??? Thanks to everyone at the Louisiana Crawfish Festival for showing us another year of a amazing time, we will be back! :)

Disgruntled "Beauty Queen"

2010-03-26T22:38:00.000-05:00

Tonight TLC showcased a show called "Top Yam", this show means a lot to me, not that I am a Top Yam, but a Festival Queen in Louisiana. The term "beauty queen" itself is offensive to any festival queen. We are so much more than that. The ideas that television puts in the minds of Americans and around the world is that we are a bunch of fake, materialistic, women who just win titles and go to the occasional Wal-Mart grand opening, and we are so much more than that. So much more.

I get that some of my readers are not from the GREAT state of Louisiana, so let me share with you about a festival queen. They are a group of ELITE women who are smart, beautiful and most of all genuine. Festival queens are high school students, college students, we have full time jobs, and some of us are mothers. We represent some of the finest foods, cultures, non profit organizations this state has to offer. We are the embodiment of traditions, hard working people and wonderful places of Louisiana. We travel the state promoting the people and history together as sisters, we give up time with our families, friends, hobbies for the love of what the sash and crown that we are chosen to represent states.

I am a PROUD former, TEEN, MISS and MS FESTIVAL QUEEN.

With that said, TLC followed a certain festival here in Louisiana, The Louisiana Yambilee Festival. I like many of my queen sisters, former queen sisters, friends and family were really excited about watching this show. In the back of my mind, I was a little nervous. At no time in HISTORY has any publication or television show EVER shined a good light on pageantry, and why would they? What is fun about watching a bunch of girls get along, moms not being catty or competitors not being b**ches?

At first they start off well enough, showing the history the town and its people. But that quickly faded. Quickly. Let's see you had the typical characters, your snob, your rich girl, and the poor girl. Oh and let's not forget scandal. One of the contestants father was a senator from the area, his daughter entered the competition for the first time, one girl who is "frien-enemies" with the senators daughter the over confident girl who came off as a crown chaser, and the snow ball stand wanna be queen, aka the "poor" girl. They showcased each girl ... well not ALL the contestants. What you did not see until later that there were two other contestants, that were rarely shown, and when they were showcased made them look like idiots. I happen to know one of the non showcased girls, and she is NOT at all what they tried to make her.

Each girl was shown pre pageant, one talked about how she couldn't be beat, one went on and on and on about how much money she spent, and the other how un prepared she was. So let me clarify

1. Not all girls think they "got this". Even the most seasoned girl gets nervous, the contestant they showed like she was miss everything just came off as a over cocky crown chaser. She had no idea why she even wanted the title other than the fact that her mom wanted her to be in it.

2. In no way on GODS GREEN EARTH does it take THOUSANDS to win a pageant. I can't tell you how many titles I won in a $50 suit and $100 dress. Its about how you LOOK in the dress, and honey you can spend thousands and still look like a hot mess, the price of the clothing is not being judged, how you LOOK and FIT in the clothing is.

3. The underdog does win sometimes, even the most "poor" girl can win. With the training you can do anything, I think they focused too much on how much money it takes to win and how much "less" money you have makes you lose. Not a fact.

Next up was interview. Wow what a disappointment. What they FAILED to show was that most and in this case interviews are 5-8 minutes. They show one question and of course they show the one question a girl flubs, or cheats with a poster, or the flawless question. What they tried to push was the "over confident" girl was better while the "senators daughter" cheated at a good answer. What were they trying to say, one girl should have won bc she had that perfect answer? Or that if you just cheat off a wall you deserve to win? Neither is the case.

Also what they FAILED to show was the COUNTLESS interviews they did with some festival queens that were visiting at the pageant. What was wrong with that? Were these women to bright? To educated? Showed our AMAZING side you couldn't show ONE woman. No.

Moving on .. Evening gown. Why did they show some girls on stage more than others. I was not there so I will tell you what it looked like. They were trying to show how the "over confident girl" was flawless and move towards the scandal of the hometown senators daughter .. They BARELY showed her walk .. why??? Where were the others .. I would have liked to seen it all FAIRLY .. the way the audience did. But did we, no. Instead they focused on the cattiness backstage. Give me a break.
Do they think all pageant girls are dumb, materialistic mean girls? We are not, but thats how they sure came across.

Onstage question .. Now I was eager to see the editing on this one .. They cut girls answers down .. Some girls that answered well were cut off, while others who were made to appear good were not even close. I am so overly mad about this part like interview, this is where we showcase our minds and they didn't even come close.

Let me not even go to the EYE ROLLING during Meghins give up speech. But I guess they needed to NAIL in the Mean Girl coffin.

What was ODD was that the girls were not on stage during the announcement of queen. They always are. No one is ever announced winner and they are backstage .. hmmm. Lets nail ONE MORE in the SCANDAL coffin.

So 1st runner up is Miss Confidence and the Winner "The Senators daughter" If they wanted to start of bunch of wild rumors, they just did that.

So in closing let me say this:

SHAME ON YOU TLC!!! You came to our state pitching a show to showcase a different side of pageants, when all you did was show a grown up toddlers and tiaras. Shame on some of the showcased contestants, you gave a bunch of producers what they wanted. What should have been a time to show the world what festival queens are truly about, you just showed the world why we have such a bad reputation. I know some of the girls on a personal level and they are beautiful and smart women and not ONCE was that portrayed. Its classless that the producers of the show took it to that level. The queen sisters that I know and love are SMART, BEAUTIFUL, CONFIDENT and wonderful women, from the 3 month old baby queen, Teen queens, Miss queens and Ms. Queens. We have so much more to offer than what they showed on tv. We represent beautiful traditions, foods, and charities wonderfully and THAT should have been shown. The Yam Queens pageant was made to look like a bad teen movie and it's far from that. I have known wonderful past Yam queens, most in particular a great Yam queen who passed away years ago and she will forever be a sister to me. I have met my best friends from the festival world, traveled to come amazing cities and made some amazing memories. Being a festival queen is a BEAUTIFUL thing and FAR from what that show gave the world. I hope other festivals take NOTE .. DO NOT LET ANY TELEVISION SHOW COME INTO TOWN, ALL WE ARE IS A JOKE AND THAT IS SAD! I love my queen sisters, the hard working festivals and their members and we are more than what they televised. Festival queens are like family, and no one messes with our family. We know who we are, and it's a shame TLC had a time to celebrate that and chose not to.

Oh How I love mommy world...

2010-03-24T22:44:00.001-05:00

So today was fairly crazy, with work and just everyday life, it seems like everyday I am jammed packed with things to do. Tonight when I got home I immediately started on house work, laundry, cooking .. (Yes I cooked!! Yayy me. lol) .. You name it I did it, and there is still a ton to do. So for now I am sitting here and relaxing and updating you all on how busy I am, with a list of things still left to do. Ahhh!! So every night before bed, like clock work my little diva comes up and kisses me goodnight, mostly open mouth drool kisses, and tonight just like every night I am going in for the kiss, when BAM! My daughter burps in my mouth .. She laughed and walked away to her room, and I stood there stunned and grossed out, then I busted out laughing! It is those moments that I think is gods way to give you a seal of approval. :)

Well 2 weeks ago we took Addison to have pictures taken by a amazing photographer Jamie LeJeune, the theme was Easter and we had live bunnies and all. Addison didn't care for the bunnies, they didn't freak her out but she did not want them near her at all, it was cute and we had so much fun. I attached two pictures from the shoot so you can see how much fun she had!

So like my last blog stated, I want to share products, websites and more that I really enjoy or make my life easier, well here is my first review: ( I do not get paid to promote anything so keep in mind this is my real opinion!)

I LOVE the following sites, I don't know if you are aware about these but everyday they send a product at a amazing deal, there are two sites, one for babies and pregnant mommies (www.babysteals.com) and one for toddlers and kids (www.kidsteals.com). Signing up is super easy and every morning at 10 am they send you a new steal.
The only con is that you have to be quick, especially at the really cute items that are super cheap, they go FAST. Shipping is fairly quick and I love the deals!!

So thats all for tonight folks .. this Diva Mommy needs her rest!!

**If you have a product or site you would like me to review send me your info to divamommy09@gmail.com I would be happy to share your items with my readers! **

Yo Gabba .. WHAT??

2010-03-22T22:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I am a young mom by most standards, and I am quite proud of that face, I mean I am 28 and I feel like I am sorta a trendy mommy .. Or so I try to be. Anyway, so my daughters new latest obsession on television is Yo Gabba Gabba, tis very 70's like children's show that airs on Nick Jr. Now if you have never seen it, it is a must for even us adults, I don't know why I am drawn to watch it when it's on I just am. I mean kinda like a car accident, you know your not suppose to look but you can't help it. Anyways, a few months ago while the TV was on, my daughter completely went into coma of the tv mode when this show came on. I guess at the sitters they watch this, but this show was completely foreign to me. After about 10 minutes Jack Black appeared and I was in total shock, little did I know, a number of famous people have appeared has guest on this show .. Umm like the Roots .. Seriously?? Anyways I completely don't get how this show is remotely educational, but I will admit, it calms down my screaming two year old in mid fit, ha ha.

Just watch this show, I am serious, someone or a team of people have to take a hit of acid before they come up with some of this stuff, and trust me, the characters of this show came completely out of someone's trip at one point. But all in all its humorous and funny, and like I said keeps my two year old happy and dancing for 30 minutes, which to yo gabba gabba I say thank you, even if I think the show is fueled by drug induced writers. So what's your thoughts? Do you let your kids watch it, or do you yourself watch it and don't mind me or my readers knowing at all?? Come on moms you know you can't help it. :)

On another note, I have been thinking that I think I will be adding a "Tried It" section on my blog. Everything from recipes, house hold products, beauty products, websites and more. I know as a new mom I am always looking for other moms like me for advice on different items and such, so since I think I am a know it all, I might just put it to use!

So if there is something you think I should check out let me know .. email me at divamommy09@gmail.com

I am no Martha ..

2010-03-21T21:40:00.001-05:00

So another great thing I am learning about mommy world, is that I am not your typical housewife and mom. I grew up in a divorced home, my mother was a business owner, but she cooked and cleaned and was almost like psycho about it .. My father on the other hand was pretty laid back .. Not much cooking and well we cleaned up .. so I pretty much took the I have everyone do everything for me road, everyone has always cleaned up after me and always cooked for me, so now as a mom and wife I struggle.

I know some good recipes but for the most part I am not a cook, I try to be as a clean freak as possible but I just don;t have the time I wish I did to devote to it like I want, and lets not get started on decorating because I missed the boat on that one .. But see thats the thing, I want to be a amazing cook and I would LOVE to be able to put things together nicely in our new home. So I have taken to reading books on recipe ideas and I am trying to get ideas on what would look great in our home. Anyone else "homemaker" challenged like me?

I want so badly to teach my daughter traditional roles in the home as she grows up, but I also want her to stay fresh with the times, so many great women work full time, take care of the home and more .. I guess they have it all in mommy world, I want that too. Whatever that is. ha ha

MOM BOD .. More like MOM BLOB!

2010-03-19T22:40:00.000-05:00

So my daughter will be 2 in June, and I think I am at the point now where I am tired of convincing myself that its okay to be out of shape anymore. But what's a new mom to do? I work full time, I have a husband and diva to take care of .. So how do I recapture that pre baby body? I know lots of new moms have this same issue, by the time you find time to "workout" the mere thought of it makes me so tired.

So I am determined to get in shape by the time vacation comes around, I found a great iphone app called c25k .. It basically trains you to be a 5k runner, and since I am 5''9 I figure why not use my long legs for something other than vacuuming. So tomorrow morning I start, and hopefully I don;t hit snooze the entire time .. Happy Trails!

Sleepless Nights

2010-03-18T21:59:00.000-05:00

So who knew that one day I would revert back to the newborn days of no sleep? Not me that is for sure! Apparently I missed the chapter in the mommy handbook where it states that when the two year old years are approaching your child goes from happy crib to night crawler. My daughter has now graduated from crib to big girl bed, the first few weeks went by without any issues, until recently .. All of a sudden she has learned the art of opening doors, walking across the house to my room and crawling in bed with me to only jump up and down and play all night .. Did I mention its 2 am?

No kidding .. from 2 am till 5 am she is WIDE awake. I try putting her back into bed, for her to return a few minutes later. This process goes on one million times till we both pass out. What is going on!! If this doesn't stop I am afraid that I will have to get a night job just to cope .. (just kidding). But in all seriousness what do you do?? Thoughts anyone? Suggestions?

The Great Shoe Debate ..

2010-03-15T22:21:00.000-05:00

Anyone wanna tell me how my daughter goes from a 3 to a 5 now to a 7 in toddler shoes in less than a few months??? Just when I find the CUTEST shoes for her BAM! she is out grown them! uhh .. I mean my daughter has a bigger shoe collection than me .. and thats a big accomplishment considering I am apart of the ShoeDazzle.com club. Any ideas on a way to keep up with trendy shoes for toddlers without taking out a small loan???

On a side note, my big event made our $23,000 budget for Cystic Fibrosis! I am so pumped!

So I think I found my place ..

2010-03-14T23:07:00.000-05:00

Everyone is always searching for what they are good at .. You know that thing that makes you feel so good that you literally walk on air? Well for me one of those things is my job, as hard as it might be at times, and as hard as it is to see people hurt I know above all that what I do I was born to do. For me today was my first big event, so many months preparing and getting ready all came down to today, with the eyes of people that are most important to me looking over me. I was so nervous, I was scared .. apart of me all day felt sick but I got there early and began to work, I had amazing help, the process was started and by the time it started we were ready to go. There was not a moment I was not on my feet walking around, answering questions, helping or whatever, and for 7 straight hours I was on cloud nine. With so many things could have got to me, the stress or whatever but I felt on top of the world, I work well with stress and managing people .. I really for the first time found my place at my job. I was born to help people, raise money for a bigger purpose and event plan. Today was a great day .. a amazing day, one I am very very very proud of. Oh not to mention my fantastic husband as the Easter Bunny .. and my beautiful diva was a model in my fashion show, she was a great model; well as 20 month old models go, ha ha . All and all it was a amazing day with amazing people, and we are all trying towards that goal of finding a cure for Cystic Fibrosis. Until tomorrow.

Okay time to renew

2010-03-13T18:22:00.001-06:00

So, I have decided that I am a blogger, I mean I want to be a blogger .. well you get it. Sometimes life gets to hectic for me that I forget that I really enjoy writing my thoughts, so I am going to make a conscious effort to keep up with this .. So may it be random, useful or whatever .. I hope you and by you it could be my one reader, keep up to date with me, comment and enjoy the journey of bloggin with me .. lol ..

So I am a little stressed lately .. I am putting on my first big event for the CF office ... (Cystic Fibrosis) I have been there for a year now and I have been so blessed to be able to be apart of some amazing events but now its time for me to show what I can do .. I am in charge of the Bunny Hop Brunch .. Which is a big brunch aimed towards children, we put on a fashion show, brunch, games and more. I am so nervous about it, I want everything to go so well, I have sponsors to make happy, guest, models and more .. So the pressure is on. I want to hit my budget so badly, every dollar I make goes to really amazing people battling with Cystic Fibrosis, they deserve for me to work extra hard and to hit those numbers, their lives are improved by what I do .. So like I said the pressure is on.

On a fun note my daughter who is now almost two will be a model for the show. She was so young last year when she did it so she was pretty easy, this year she is a big girl, so lets hope she doesn't dive right off that stage for fun .. She can be a daredevil like that .. ha ha .. So crossing my fingers and praying it all goes well! Will post pictures after the event .. Lets make some MONEY! :)

PS Did I mention my sweet husband is dressing like the Easter Bunny .. oh yes, he says I owe him. lol

Preparing for the BIG FIRST BIRTHDAY!

2009-06-03T08:53:00.000-05:00

Okay so my little mini diva is turning one next week! So much to do to plan for such a big occasion..I set a theme WAY before Addison was born. She HAD to have a big princess theme birthday since after all she is our little princess. I must admit I am not the most creative tool in the shed, apparently that gene went to my sister who can whip anything up out of nothing,( I however can make a mean Cosmo!) Anyway, so in my head I have the party all laid out, what it will look like, the decorations, the cake, the HUGE jumpy thingy for the kids..I even had the creative picture invites down pat. Well with my new job starting and the fact that I am not a millionaire I had to cut back and reset this pink princess theme birthday. I told my family and friends what I had in mind, and boy did they give me their HONEST opinion. I was told everything from, "Don't go all out she will never remember, make it simple" to "Omg you want WHAT at her birthday, that is just silly" .. Well pardon me if I think a magician or life size Dora the Explorer would be a fun thing to do. Yes, I get that the first birthday is all really for the mom, but I really think that it needs to be special. After all its your FIRST big day, and I want her to look back on pictures and say WOW my mommy did all that! So what's wrong with that? I am a diva mommy and mini diva should have the same as I would.

So yesterday, there I was in the big party store, aisle and aisles of theme birthday decorations, to invitations, man they had a selection! After 3 aisles of blues clues, barbie, and disco theme's, there it was the 1st Birthday Princess collection! OMG it was a pink bubble gum heaven! So there I was picking up EVERYTHING they had, party hats, napkins, plates, wall decorations, WINDOW decals, a LIGHT UP TIARA! (Did you know they make a floor mat to match so that way when she goes all psycho baby on the cake its easy clean up!) My shopping cart was HUGE and over flowing! I began to walk away and as I came down from my pink princess high, I started to look over all that I got, everything totaled up to $600! OMG! I thought I would faint and surely my husband would divorce me if even knew that much was in a basket! So reluctantly I walked back over and looked over everything, I weighed over what I really needed and what I just wanted, after all half of this stuff she would just drool on and the other kids would destroy. After putting up the really non important stuff like 1st birthday mints (omg they were so cute..lol) I walked away just spending what I needed to .. Now all that's left is food to prepare and the CAKE..And I am sorry to my friends and family reading this, the cake will be AMAZING..After all its the centerpiece! lol I have no idea what I am doing or how it will all come together, but it will come all together. I figure her birthday will help simulate this crappy economy somehow right? HA HA..

My First Entry

2009-06-02T16:25:00.001-05:00

So I am up last night twittering like always, and I try my best to really read up on people that I follow and who follow me. Well as I am looking through countless web pages and profiles, I notice how so many people "blog". I actually went to bed last night thinking how really adventurous it is to be able to write your own thought or post videos about your life. You think back to when people never really aired out their business and everything was kept so closed, to now where the more you know the more you wanna know .. So this is how I started, basically I want to write about what I know the most about, me. Some may find it interesting while others not so much. But for what's it worth, I wanna be adventurous so here it goes...

So I am a 27 year old mother of the next generation of prissy diva's, she is going to be one this June and for someone who never thought she have kids, I won the lottery because she is so great and she shows me how to want to be a better mommy everyday, I am married to a wonderful man for 2 years and life in south Louisiana is great! I have a AMAZING job, I help raise money everyday for Cystic Fibrosis, and it's a cause I am so passionate about! (www.cff.org). We have a bulldog named Zues, and for the most part is 100% my husbands dog, I am not so into the big beasts..lol.

Both my daughter and I compete in pageants, and before you go off on judging me and giving me your opinion on how pageants are this corrupt hobby full of crazy pageant moms, I have to say that we do this for fun. ONLY FUN. I have been in them since I was 10 and I LOVED them, I have traveled allot because of numerous festival titles (big deal around here) and actually paid for college, and have my job because of it. Me and Addi (my diva) do really fun pageants and it's not every weekend like some parents, maybe one a month or once every 3 months, and if the day comes where she rather ride 4-wheelers than compete, the pageants will be over..

I am having so much fun as a new mom, sometimes it's very hard because for so long I have never really focused on anyone but me. If even 4 years ago you would have said I would be married with a little girl, I probably would have laughed in your face, and I am not being cliche' when I say that, I truly had not a bone in my body for another husband much less a child. I thought I would be the cool aunt forever and I was fine with that. As I blog I am sure you will understand why I always thought this way.

Life has been MUCH different going from a shopping, party hard, club living, living on the edge diva. Once a life of all night parties is now a life of bottle feeding, bubble catching, diaper changing, church 3 times a week, diva-ness. This diva is still going strong but now for much different reasons, and now it's time to pass the torch to my prissy girl, so the adventure between us begins. I look forward to sharing my story..